Noticing the details

On Friends

2010-03-10T11:09:00.000-08:00

When I was maybe 20 I had an unpleasant conversation with a friend. He was comparing me to another of his friends; a girl who was about 25. He told me that she was sure of her actions, confident, moved with conviction and purpose. Her personality was bold and interesting. My friend disliked that I was unlike her. He told me that I was more-or-less wishy-washy, slow to come to conclusions, unsure of myself and certainly lacked confidence. I replied, "don't be so hard on me. I'm only 20... I'm sure that when I'm that age I'll have gained a better grasp on myself."

Somewhere around that same age I had another really close friend. I was more comfortable with her than most of the people I'd known in my entire life. I told her everything, she told me everything, we talked about girly things like "our feelings" and "the right way to apply makeup." This was all pretty new to me, but I was happy with how naturally it had come and how easy it was to be friends with this girl. Then one day came when she really needed someone. Her long-time boyfriend had just broken up with her, and the only thing in the world she needed was a friend. I wasn't there, but said I'd be there soon. Instead, my boyfriend convinced me to go to dinner with some other friends, which lasted much, much longer than I'd anticipated. By the time I got back to her she was rightfully very angry with me. I felt extraordinarily guilty, and still feel guilty about it even to this day. Whether this was true or not, in my head she never quite looked at me the same. She could no longer count on me, and I expected she'd no longer be a shoulder for me. In my eyes, this was a major rift which caused a chain reaction in my life in the years to come.

I had a few other 'best friends' in the years prior. Two of the closest both ended up running away from their homes. In each case I understood that it was their unsatisfactory home-life which they were escaping. Nevertheless I felt abandoned by both of them, and our relationships were more-or-less ended.

Another long-time friend whom I was rather close with set the events of our digression into motion without even realizing it. She was the type of person who was big on inside jokes, so occasionally I'd adopt one of hers for my own use (only in conversations with her, of course). One day she exploded at my use of one of her jokes, even after she'd been laughing along with me for months. On top of that, she threw in a few other insults. I felt like a scorned puppy who truely didn't know any better. I didn't want to be on the receiving end of someone's apparent instabilities, ever again. I had/have no idea what was going on in hear life at the time. She could have been really stressed, who knows. I probably didn't think much of it even a week later, but the fact that the memory's still with me (this probably occurred in middle or early high school) tells me it probably caused a scar deeper than I'm fully aware of.

Now I'm about to turn 25, and I don't have many (less than a handful, unfortunately) good friends I keep in regular contact with. It does make me sad, but I know it's entirely my fault. I spent so much time building fantastic relationships with wonderful people, but I've only let them fall away from me. I'll be going into the military in a matter of weeks, and who knows how long it'll be before I see any of them again. I feel even less wise or certain without my friends, yet for some reason I've developed what nearly seems to be a fear of contacting them. Of course I know exactly how to remedy this, but lamentably I've grown quite content to sit alone in a quiet basement.

S.O.S.

Proceed at own risk; high levels of grumble ahead...

2009-12-26T23:40:00.000-08:00

So, for those of you who haven't heard, I was supposed to be enrolled in Basic Military Training as of right now. I would have spent Christmas there. And I would have brought in the New Year there... All the way up until just before Valentine's Day. However, since entering the Air Force has proven to be one big headache and disaster after another, I will not be leaving until April.

I have mixed feelings about the fact. On the one hand, this gives me more time to prepare my body and perhaps my mind. And I get to spend more time with my charming boyfriend, which is fantastic because I want all the time I can get with him before I have to leave for several months on end. Also, I'm spending the holidays in the company of loved ones, which is definitely preferable. However, I was really riding on the fact that I'd be leaving in mid-December. That wrench thrown into the mix kind of threw me for a loop. Upon hearing the news (five days before I was supposed to leave), there may have been slight hyperventilation and watery eyes on my part... but once I talked to a few people and calmed my nerves, recovery was fairly quick. This means, however, I am on the job hunt once again. Cabin fever, boredom and pacing about are strongly-prevalent in my daily activities. I've also started chopping at my hair again... it's getting shorter and shorter... Blah blah blah...

I did really enjoy having long hair, by the way. It had gotten the longest it had been since I cut it my junior year of high school. Long hair kept things interesting. I originally cut it a couple of weeks ago in anticipation of making light of my personal maintenance in boot camp, but I'd forgotten how easy and cute short hair can be!

Anyway, writing this blog post is the most productive I've felt in weeks (when not chopping my locks off). I made Josh a painting, and started another one but only got discouraged when I realized it was much more complicated than the stuff I usually attempt. You'd think that with all this free time I'd be finding all sorts of creative ways to keep myself busy... but it's been the contrary. I've found no inspiration, no motivation, and no reason to even want to leave the house on most days. I want to be productive. I really do. Which is why I feel guilty every single time I sit down to watch a movie or play a card game. Josh has been into this computer game for the past week-ish... I've played it a few times, but have been avoiding it for the most part because I'd rather it were a time filler rather than a time passer. Soooo... I haven't been journaling, blogging, painting, photographing, designing, or anything creative. And anything non-creative makes me feel reprehensible. Also, I haven't done many push-ups or sit-ups... All this free time, and I the idea is still deplorable to me. I know that having a job, even part-time, will change a few things. Anything that puts productivity into my days would breathe some life back into me. I'm desperate for a breath like that at this point...

/Sigh.

I've been lucky

2009-12-04T18:35:00.001-08:00

For far too long. Seems I'm finally getting the things I deserve. :/

Yo Snacka Snacka!

2009-08-12T15:47:00.000-07:00

Top 3 Purchases in Paris

2009-08-11T12:37:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to write this post for a while, but since I've returned from Paris life seemed to start rolling faster and faster, and while I could barely keep up, before I knew it I had been back in the states for a full month. At any rate, I would love to get back into the habit of writing again. Even my personal journal has greatly missed my presence in the past few weeks.

In Paris, we were bombarded with bad luck every way we turned. But there were a few things that stood out; purchases which guaranteed goodness and dared to make our lives easier during our stay. If you ever visit the City of Light/Love, I wholeheartedly recommend sparing some change for these three particular items.

Purchase no. One:
A week-long pass for the Metro (or a few day passes if you won't be staying a full week...). The system is complicated. You're tired or hungry and confused and can't fully communicate with the people around you. On top of that, you have to figure out your route on the train system (or brave the nightmare that is driving in Paris... good luck with that!), to see your sights or return home for the day, plus figure out which ticket to buy, and how much of the fare you really should be paying. And if you manage to do that successfully, you have to figure it out again in a few hours when your ticket expires.

Having a week-pass I'm sure saved me from many, many tears. You show up at a station, wave your card by the entrance doors, and voilà! You're already half-way through the potential headache. If you know what train you need to be on, all you need do is board, then you have plenty of travel time to navigate the rest of your trip. Look at you, being all savvy and avoiding some unwanted attention!

Purchase no. Two:
A bike tour (preferably at night, which includes a river cruise and wine!). Actually, I wish I would have taken this trip more towards the beginning of my stay, because it locates excellent sites to go and explore further on your own time. We went with Fat Tire Bike Tours, which is filled with super-friendly folks, filled with helpful knowledge and all English-Speaking (our tour guide was a surfer-dude from Southern California who was in love with the Parisian culture).

Purchase no. Three:
ANY pastry. Not kidding. This people is famous for their baking for a reason! You owe it to your tastebuds (and your peace-of-mind) to sit outside a café, order up a pastry and coffee, and take in the sights. People-watching is, after all, their favorite passtime. There are a lot of interesting things happening in the streets. Sit back and enjoy it.

Hope I helped! I hadn't had really any advice before I had gone to the city. Just a few rumors on their attitude. If you can make it to Paris, go! Whether you have a bad experience or an excellent one, it will last you a lifetime, guaranteed!

I make'd a movie!

2009-06-23T13:21:00.000-07:00

Favoritism

2009-06-18T12:46:00.000-07:00

Today is a Thursday. I'm particularly fond of Thursdays. Good things usually occur on Thursdays.

I've been listing a lot of favorites, lately. But in all actuality, I'm not very fond of picking favorites. In a given-category (music, seasons, flavors, whatever...) I usually find several things to like about a variety of things and for a variety of reasons. I don't consider it to be a factor of my indecision, but rather a testimony to me being an open and appreciative being.

However, when asked the question "what is your favorite ____?" I feel like I'm pressured to have a solid answer for whomever wants to know what my preference is. On the other hand, when I ask someone of their favorite whatever, it's usually more-so because I'm curious as to how one will answer the question. I admire those of you that don't have straight answers, especially because I'm apparently not brave enough to face a favoritism query empty-handed. Kudos to those of you that are.

The best-laid plans... right?

2009-06-16T02:30:00.000-07:00

My sincere apologies. I had every intention of providing a weekly recapitulation of my actions and adventures accompanied by every thought and feeling. And 'every intention' eventually turned to 'it's okay to slip occasionally, as long as I continue to produce photos.' Which lead, ultimately, to having no intention whatsoever to reproduce my journey for anyone, because it was mine, or maybe because the scale finally tipped from a healthy amount of ambition to an exhausting amount of 'busy.'

At any rate, I'm back. If I happen to finish the drafts I've started, great. If not, maybe I'll just publish them in their honest-yet-unfinished state.

Nearing the end of my "vacation" I'm realizing that new inspiration has been gained through treading the map, which is to say nothing of the gained perspective. Suddenly I want to design more, draw more, paint more and most of all, write more. I dearly miss the creative world.

Someday...

2009-05-06T03:10:00.000-07:00

the Russian Ballet
a formal dance class (ballet, tap, salsa, ballroom... who knows)
Machu Picchu
clarinet (again)
an Opera
the symphony
Egypt
paragliding/hang gliding
sailing
skydiving
rock climbing
surfing

Birthday, happy

2009-04-30T16:26:00.000-07:00

So much more has happened in the past year than I ever could have imagined. I did enter "23" with high expectations, and I was not even remotely disappointed. Quite without fail, every step taken backwards was a new chance to take another leap forward. Which means twenty-three was quite 'necessary' for me. I'm proud of myself for marching through it, even when the march was so slow I couldn't even see the passing of time. Although (as always), I do feel a tinge of melancholy to leave another age behind me. And now, moving onward, I think twenty-four feels like it'll be a year of transition, a year of seriousness, and a year to watch a few major prospects come into focus. Cheers to hindsight, foresight, foreshadowing, and forgiving (...why isn't it hind-giving?).

Woche fünf:

2009-04-11T11:58:00.000-07:00

sun: the recoup from Ramsteining.

mon: takin' care of business, reading in the sunlight, hardcore nap.

tue: bye bye Frankie B—have fun in Berlin!

wed: zoo, not zoo. impromptu bbq.

thur: Gamerdinger! super-awesome. super-inspiring. and then egg-coloring.

fri: trading zoos for manors, first sunburn of the year.

sat: countrified bike ride, first biergarten, first beer since i arrived. evening brought the worst food experience since I arrived (it was on one of the Army bases... 'nough said)

sun: London-bound!

the stream before bed

2009-04-08T14:39:00.001-07:00

feeling nostalgic

feeling angry

feeling hate

feeling love

feeling tired

feeling grump

feeling annoyed

feeling drastic

feeling impatient

feeling care

feeling cold

feeling careless

feeling breath

feeling calm

feeling dark

feeling calm

feeling...

feeling.

Wochen Drei und Vier

2009-04-05T03:11:00.001-07:00

Whoa! These past two weeks have zipped by without so much as a warning shot. Last week was spent pretty much just around the house, as everyone but Frankie was sick, spending their energies trying to get better, and I was spending mine to concentrate on staying healthy. So... not much to report für Woche drei. However, we did attend a Margarita/Enchilada Night on Saturday, which was much fun. Wonderful home-cooked Mexican food, a couple of perfect Margaritas, and makeovers done by a sweet five-year-old girl, who apparently believes the whole face is a canvas for every color imaginable.

Monday took Aunt Sandy, Elijah and I into downtown Stuttgart for the afternoon. We rode on the S-Bahn rather than the car, which gave me my first glimpse at Germany's public transportation system. The S-Bahn system was extremely similar to Portland's MAX system. The tickets were purchased at an automatic kiosk, and they relied on the Honor System for validity. Innenstadt Stuttgart is comprised of a mixture of historic buildings and a GIANT outdoor mall. As far as I could tell it was just like any mall in the States, but with no roof or common building. And then there are beggars and street performers hanging around some of the store fronts, like you'd find at Portland's Saturday Market. We found a café for lunch, and I consumed the most delicious ham & cheese ciabatta sandwich ever created.

I think this is a good time to insert this notable observation: At every place I've gone out to eat at so far, the food tastes exactly how it ought to taste. As far as I'm concerned food critics would be out of a job, because I've yet to find any dish that is sub-par.

The rest of the day I was admiring the shops and the people. Apparently the Germans love to window-shop, which is great, because so do I! If I can spend the day downtown amongst lots of interesting people, submerged in the world of attractive and expensive items, able to enjoy the beauty and glamor of it all without spending a dime, then you can call me perfectly happy. Of course, it's always fun to get something fun for yourself if the mood strikes you, or you see something you just can't pass up. For instance... an adorable grey + white + yellow hoodie zip-up!! Or perhaps some flower hair clips. Finds like that are irresistible, of course.

Thursday I colored my hair red again, but the results aren't all that shocking or even noticeable, in my opinion. Better luck next time!

Friday morning we (Aunt Sandy, Elijah and I) made our way out to Ramstein (just a couple of hours away, by car). We had several plans ahead of time, but as it turned out not one of them would work out (except for visiting the giant flohmarkt). The trip was originally planned so that we'd be able to attend the annual memorial service for the T-43 that went down in '96, but that ended up being postponed to Monday. We were also going to meet my recruiter for the first time, but she canceled. Finally I planned on meeting up with a friend from high school stationed at Ramstein, but she emailed minutes before we left saying that she was called into work. And this isn't to mention the several friends Aunt Sandy planned to get in touch with to see while we were there...

Soooo... we got to the base and as it turned out, President Obama was speaking in Strasbourg, which meant that his plane was stationed at Ramstein Base! My aunt noticed it wasn't a regular plane, but it wasn't until we went to take a closer look and talk to some other people checking it out that we decided it was in fact Air Force One.

Then Aunt Sandy continued giving me a tour of the base, which is much larger and more accommodating than the Army posts around Stuttgart. And by 'larger' I mean it's absolutely huge. We made our way over to her former work site, where there's a permanant memorial for the '96 T-43.

That night we had a delicious dinner, during which some guy within a group of a few service members stared at me throughout most of my meal. He wasn't unattractive, so I didn't mind quite as much as I otherwise might've, but still... it was a bit disconcerting. Then we went to go see Monsters vs. Aliens. Luckily we found an English-showing of it out on the German economy.

Sunday we made it to ___________? for the monthly flohmarkt, which is apparently a huge event. I regret that I didn't get any pictures of these, but I saw several rings with weird white stones, shaped oddly (or suspiciously) like teeth. And they were usually showcased with the Nazi paraphernalia and Swastika-laden jewelery, badges and medals. We asked a man who had one of these what the ring was made with, and he pointed to his teeth. Crazy. And the fact that I saw more than one ring, at more than one location, leads me to believe these were a common type of trophy. Wow.

Other common items spotted inluded pewter goblets, wine glasses, old skeleton keys, and funky-colored typewriters. I found a few cool treasures to take home, including several rings I apparently couldn't resist, as each turned out to be better than the one before it...

in my waking life...

2009-03-29T07:59:00.000-07:00

this morning i woke up anxious as all get-out. i felt as though i'd just stepped off of a roller coaster. i tried to go back to sleep, but that's not exactly an easy task when your heart is pounding, your mind is racing and your stomach is doing cartwheels. i'm trying to figure out what it is that's put me in this state. there are a few things that can give me this kind of anxiety; yet none of which are occurring this side of the Atlantic.

it's not an altogether unpleasant feeling... but it's certainly a departure from my usual calm self. and don't get me wrong, it is mostly unpleasant, like there's something looming that is much too big for me to handle (however swiftly or deftly). but there's also that sense of urgency felt, which is something i've not encountered lately. it's not really that i enjoy feeling the pressure of 'urgent,' it's maybe just that it's satisfying an odd craving. like the craving of a formerly-important-and-high-stress retiree, who now in his lazy lemonade afternoons just wants a little responsibility to keep him important, active, worth a damn.

but still, where did the lighter fluid come from?

Gesamtkunstwerk?

2009-03-25T06:14:00.001-07:00

Hardly.

Jeeze I'm dumb. I just had a major realization.

Everywhere we go, my aunt and I have been noticing that the newer buildings have these very "modern" steel, white or primary-colored plates with holes in them on all of the balconies (in fact I just noticed that there's a prime example right in the backyard...). I thought it was a little bit weird that the Germans would just toss around modernist architecture so casually (since it occurs most often in the lower-income housing (which is still pretty nice, compared to that of the States)).

Well, I also recently remembered that the Bauhaus is in Germany, and that whole little movement they call "Modernism" was strongly felt here. So it's no wonder it's become so commonplace! It's worked right into their history, and has become normal much the same way the colonial style has become so banal in the US.

Duh callie...

i really love...

2009-03-21T15:03:00.000-07:00

having wine with almost every dinner

living just above lots of cool shops

exercising more regularly

eating healthy foods

drinking lots of tea

being immersed in a language i don't understand

learning about a new culture

my aunt

getting to see sights older than my home country

living with people who are a lot like me

not seeing or hearing any advertisements

being able to connect with a family member

living with kids, so i have an excuse to play and goof off

living with a very lovey kitty

not having strangers living above or below me

having the use of an awesome entertainment/theater room

using 4 types of recycling (glass/cans, plastic, paper and compost)

i really miss...

2009-03-21T13:04:00.000-07:00

chocolate stout

the pub

having a bathroom connected to my room

lying in bed all day some days

texting

deciding to do something on the fly

Bon Iver

sleeping naked

partying with the girls

fighting with the girls

watching my "guardian crow" land outside my window

awalsh

having hot tub access on any day of the week

going out at night

talking to paul appx. once a week to stay caught up

listening to music while taking a shower

Gil Bagel

Week zwei: feeling the distance

2009-03-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

I've already been here for 2 weeks! Usually when I have a 2-week vacation somewhere, it seems to drag on and last as long as I want/need it to. But so far the time has just flown right by. Uncle Frank is back in town (he was away on business for the first week and a half I was here), so now I'm with the whole family!

I just got back home from my first volksmarch (this one was 10k, appx. 6.2 miles), and I think we're going on another one tomorrow. A volksmarch is a walk through a village, a chance to see the countryside and meet people. After which there is always coffee and delectable cake. Yum. And then you get a prize. I got a cheesy lighthouse tea candle holder thing. :)

Sunday and Monday were spent mostly around the house, resting and relaxing and trying to avoid getting sick.

Tuesday brought the big morning workout, and then we went down to the Toom market (German grocery store, with some other things. Kinda like a Fred Meyer). Do you know that people over here don't deem it necessary to refrigerate eggs? Odd indeed. I picked up some paints, brushes and canvasses to keep myself busy in the downtimes.

Wednesday we went down to the scwimmbad, which was great. In the building, which had an oddly-sloping roof, there was a diving pool, a snazzy little kinder pool, a huuuge lap pool and a shallow pool, all of which were wonderfully heated. In order to get to the pools you have to walk through an individual changing room to get to a hall (where there are other changing rooms connected), then through the hall to get to the shower rooms, then through the shower rooms to get to the pool areas. Well, after we were done swimming and were walking back to the changing rooms, I managed to catch an eye-full of naked old man. I tried not to notice as I walked past but my face must've betrayed me, because my aunt pointed out I was significantly more red than I had previously been.

Thursday, Uncle Frank got back into town. Then Aunt Sandy and I went to a thrift store where I found a few treasures, including (in excellent condition, I might add) a 1957 version of the board game Clue, all in German. Cluedo. For €3. It is seriously awesome. I also found a beautiful 15-piece tea set from Bolivia for €5. Then we drove to a cool little village with historic town center, where we wandered around and then got some coffee and cake.

Friday I hung out by myself at home all day, finding various ways to keep myself entertained. That night we all watched a movie, Reign Over Me. It was sad, but I liked it.

I noticed that I have this constant feeling like something's missing. Much like the billboards missing from the landscape... I didn't notice until someone pointed it out for me. But in this case I realize something is missing and yet I can't figure out what it is. It feels like I left a vital part of me in Oregon; part of my brain or my heart, or an arm... It's very strange to feel as though you're torn like this. Looking at the sky, it certainly looks the same, but it definitely feels different. On some level I'm constantly aware that I'm on the other side of the earth. I didn't think I'd actually feel like I'm far away. It's interesting.

Now you see it...

2009-03-20T02:21:00.000-07:00

Closets, ice, and billboards. These things have been erased from my everyday life, and I didn't even notice until each instance was pointed out to me.

Absolutely zero billboards. I don't miss them in the least. Do you believe there's actually a landscape out there?!

Awesome. :)

Glazed-over

2009-03-18T12:03:00.001-07:00

My mood has been totally up and down today, with an overall 'melancholy' tone... And it's kinda wearing me out. I think an early bedtime is in order tonight.

I've tried plenty of things to get me back to my regular self: swimming (which I always love doing), painting, eating, drinking, writing (which is usually very therapeutic for me), talking, letting myself get lost in thought...

I think maybe I just need to fall asleep and find my head tomorrow? I dunno. Any suggestions (in case I don't feel better tomorrow)?

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2009-03-17T09:21:00.000-07:00

Easily got used to having to push a hand-sized button to flush the toilet. But I'm just finally getting used to having the light switches "upside-down" from what I'm used to. Still not quite used to living with a person who seems to be made entirely of curiosity and is exactly tall enough to get into everything. I'm happily used to walking across heated tiles while barefoot. Not used to sleeping with a very lovey cat who paws at my head in the middle of every night. Getting used to a tiny shower... I have to do squats to reach my shampoo/conditioner. Nearly used to sleeping with clothes on, and nearly used to not having a bathroom connected to my room.

Memorize the City

2009-03-16T12:25:00.000-07:00

Oh, darkness filled the sky as pools of water filled your eyes–
They sparkled like phosphorescence in the bay.
Although our lips barely touched,
I have never felt so much
And i’d really like to feel that way again.
Oh, oh, when
I walk through the streets and memorize the city,
I count every light until i reach the shore.
Sometimes i close my eyes and you’re not very pretty;
Sometimes i can’t believe i’ve had those thoughts before.

Week One: Settling in

2009-03-15T06:35:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been quite the eventful week! And already this feels like home. All of those suspicions I had as a little girl, thinking my Aunt Sandy was secretly my real mother, well they've all come flooding back. I'm amazed at how similar we are, especially in light of the entire rest of our family. And the similarities just keep piling up. Our mannerisms, attitudes and views on things are all side-by-side. And I don't believe any of the other women in the family besides us has curly hair. You've all seen my famous (infamous?) butt-dance. Well it's time I let you all know that the real inspiration behind that dance comes from this very aunt (seeing her shake her booty around with a gigantic goofy smile on her face is one of my fondest memories of her, hahaha). So obviously you know I'm in good hands, with someone who's got moves like that! I think it's rare that someone "gets" me as easily and quickly as she obviously does, and I find it awesome that there is actually someone in my family I can talk to as candidly and comfortably as I can talk to her.

And I love living in this house. Everyone is just as much of a dork as I am. It's absolutely glorious. We all randomly hum random songs (even the 2-year-old); often at the same time. And I love it when the three of them burst into song together, singing "Stop! In the name of love". Yes folks, I'ma be just fine. And if that much doesn't convince you, then be persuaded by the power of heated floor tiles. Comfy-living, indeed!

As far as the culture outside the front door, I'm still getting used to it all. It's weird knowing that even though there are tons of awesome shops all around me, making a purchase from any of them would mean braving treacherous language barriers and forging past culture-shock. I think I'm finally (mostly) accustomed to the time difference, but lord knows it wasn't easy!

Here's a brief recap of the events thus far:

Saturday: arrived in Stuttgart, extremely exhausted but entirely happy. Tried to stay awake as late as I could make it, but passed out as soon as it was practical.

Sunday: took a spin on the Autobahn, then wandered around to see the local sights

Monday: went to Ikea and the mall. Both were very similar to the States', except without all of that "English language" nonsense.

Tuesday: had my butt kicked when I went to the Cross-Training exercise with Aunt Sandy. Nearly passed out, literally. Despite my muscles being sore for days afterward, I'm looking forward to next week's workout!

Wednesday: Got my hairs whacked off, in a nice way.

Thursday: Another workout; Strollercise this time. It's okay that I didn't have a stroller. Not as rough as Tuesday's workout, but definitely enough to make me feel good.

Friday: Kindermusik with Eli, then hours spent tasting wine and acquiring awesome goods at the Bazaar

Saturday: Spent the day helping aunt's friend put together Ikea furniture and using my eye-for-design. It was nice to be in a creative head-space once again! It'd been a while. Went to dinner at an authentic Italian place with Aunt Sandy, where we had a fantastic time chatting, catching-up and giggling.

I feel like I'm off to a great start. Also! I learned of our plans to go to Paris at the end of May for a whole week. I am so looking forward to that! In addition, there's talk of me visiting London to see my cousin, perhaps Barcelona to see a friend, a beautiful castle not terribly far from here, Stonehenge, and a few other awesome things. Color me super-excited.

Bookworm

2009-03-12T10:26:00.000-07:00

Finished reading Coraline this morning. You know, I think that could be considered a pretty accurate 'kiddie' version of the book I'm about to start reading; strange house, impossible dimensions, creepy creatures trying to get at the main character... (I'm about to start reading House of Leaves).

Couple of crazy coincidences regarding Coraline: there was a small reference in the book to the play The Importance of Being Earnest, which happened to be the play on the ticket stub I was using as a bookmark. Also, I saw the play with the person who lent me the book, and it happened on the same night (the play and the lending of the book). Weeeird.

Soooo looking forward to reading House of Leaves. I've heard from different people it's the scariest book, strangest book, craziest book, etc., etc. But besides how one feels about the book, people are very vague when describing it. I'm okay with that. I think I've finally gained a decent overall picture of what it's actually about.

Stranger in a strange land

2009-03-10T11:05:00.000-07:00

The day after I arrived in Germany (which is now the day before yesterday) I had my first "foreigner" experience. I was pretty hungry while we were out and about, looking at the local historic buildings. So my aunt gave me 5 euro and sent me off to buy some food for myself. It wasn't a huge deal... she waited right outside the door, and I just had to say something on the menu then point at the other ingredients I wanted added to the pita. But still. I'm pretty sure that's the first time in my life that I had to get what I wanted out of someone who didn't speak my language. I'm sure I was blushing, but I ended up with a taaasty end-product– a donner kebab. So good. And paying wasn't difficult since the total amount owed showed up on a little display screen. I handed the man money, he gave me change, and I was on my way.

Donner Kebab! Soo good!

Well, today I had a bit more complex of an exchange. Yesterday we made an appointment to get my hair cut today. Sooo, 15:40 rolls around and my aunt comes downstairs to inform me that she wouldn't be accompanying me to the salon. Oohhhkay... I can manage...? Just then my little cousin Frankie got home from school (who can actually speak a decent amount of German), and he walked with me over to the salon to help translate what I wanted done to my hair.

I'm going to preface this with the fact that I really like the way my hair turned out. It's adorable! That being said, during the cutting I could not shake the uneasy feeling I had. I was intensely reminded of being 14, when I got my first short haircut. The past few times I've gone to get my hair cut it's made me feel more like a woman, silly as that may be. Though I'm sure it's hard to feel like much else at the rather-snooty Magnum Opus in the Pearl (which is where I'd been going). Still, I couldn't do anything to shake that adolescent uneasiness while the scissors were dancing across my locks. I felt young as young could be (while still being able to interact with adults, barely). Thanks, language barrier!

Besides that, it was a very enjoyable experience! I'm a sucker for getting pampered. Somewhere between the scalp massaging, the constant touching and the knowledge that you're being beautified, you can't help but find relaxation and peace. Frankie stuck around to help me pay the lady. He helped a lot; I'm not convinced I would have liked my hair as much if he hadn't been there to relay a few key messages.

Shine-on, highlights! And goodbye, split-ends!

However... cute as the cut may be, I kinda think I should stop asking for layers like I always do, and I should start asking for something to make me look sexy. Someday I'll look older... someday...

Fond Farewell (aka New Beginnings!)

2009-03-07T19:58:00.001-08:00

When I moved to be on my own for the first time, leaving Anderson, I wasn't sad or scared and I knew ahead of time that I wasn't going to be looking back. Anderson is not the sort of place you shed a tear for, no matter how many years you spent growing up there (luckily I only needed 14 years (moved there when I was 4)). I planned on fully taking advantage of the fact that I could leave that past where it belonged, and become anything I wanted to in a new city on my own. Which is exactly what I did.

Now that I'm leaving a city I chose, relationships I tendered and cared for and cultivated, and a history I fully created and approve of, it's much more of a challenge to walk away. Portland is very much alive in me. There was a moment on the plane from Seattle to London when a thought came into my head to sever ties just the way I've done before. I was feeling particularly cold and invincible, just for an instant. But of course, one by one I crossed off people I couldn't walk away from. Needless to say there isn't a single person I could actually turn my back on. I know Portland will miss me, and I can't even begin to pretend I won't miss it right back.

The journey to Stuttgart was mostly pleasant. In fact, besides the length of the trip and my lack of snoozes, it was entirely pleasant. The shuttle from PDX to SEA-TAC was short and sweet, and offered complimentary wine and beer. Of course I grabbed a glass of wine, and raised it to first steps to new beginnings. There wasn't really enough time to finish enjoying the glass before they came around with the last garbage collection. The lady asked if I wanted to "hurry and finish" the rest of my glass. I laughed at her, took one more gulp, and gave her the rest.

Once I arrived I spent a couple of hours wandering around that airport, ate a final Whopper, re-recorded my voicemail message to include my email addy, and pondered the wrapped gift in my backpack. Finally we boarded the gigantic aircraft. It was a double-decker; first class had big reclining seats with foot rests and raise-able partitions between each seat. It looked even nicer than it sounds. The rest of the plane had a touch-screen on the back of every seat, so that you could choose your own on-flight entertainment. This included plenty of new-release movies (I watched Slumdog Millionaire and Madagascar 2; they were both great), classic movies, lots of TV shows, and music selections from which you could make your own playlist, listen to full albums, or choose a station to listen to. There was also a "flight tracker," which showed you your position on the globe at any given time, as well as the estimated remaining time of the trip and a few other facts regarding the journey.

The dinner meal was delicious! Some chicken/noodle/spinach/white sauce dish (other choice was pot roast, I believe?), served with a dinner roll, your choice of red or white wine, a small bottled water and a salad of romaine lettuce, cherry tomatoes and dried cranberries, topped with a balsamic vinaigrette. Then dessert consisted of a slice of apple pie with some sort of light custard on the side, a fun-size Kit Kat bar and your choice of coffee or tea.

I finally got to open the wrapped box from Drew that's been driving me crazy with curiosity. It was full of lots of thoughtful things that made me both laugh and cry. I very much loved it. Especially the 2 mix CDs that are a Requiem for the Past and an Anthem for the Future. I have never characterized us as being in a "relationship," and I'll continue to refrain since it really was nothing like one, and always had a definite end in sight. But I found that Drew has left a much larger and deeper impression on me than I ever expected he would, and although I never found myself in love with him, I still absolutely love and adore him for everything he's done, and everything it's worth.

I didn't sleep on that flight; I watched a final movie and stayed up to receive breakfast (a croissant with cheese and some healthier version of a candy bar) and tea. We landed in London when it was about 4am in my head. But the sunshine was blatantly disagreeing with me, and so I wanted to punch it. I didn't get much of a view when we were coming in for a landing because I was sitting on a ginormous wing, and the girl at the window didn't open the shade much. I caught my first glimpses of the countryside through a slit in the wing; first it looked like farmlands I've flown over many times, and I was slightly disappointed. Then the scene changed very suddenly; there were tall-ish quaint buildings perched right on the edges of the farmlands, which is not something I've seen. Everything was taller and older and quainter than the scenery I'm used to flying over. I liked it.

The London airport was much busier and larger than any I've been to! Everyone was bustling around. I thought there was a slight chance I'd have trouble getting around, but I'm blaming good design for my breezy passage to the next gate. My final flight, London to Stuttgart, was only a couple of hours long. I was awake only long enough to have a sandwich and tea before passing out for the remainder of the duration. When I awoke we had just come out of the clouds above Stuttgart. I was in the window seat, and looked out to find white all around the buildings and trees. Apparently it's still pretty 'winter' over here...

I grabbed my luggage (thank god) and found Aunt Sandy and little Frankie waiting for me with the biggest smiles I've ever seen. I'm here!! What a wonderful realization. It was a short drive to her house from the airport, and immediately I began noticing the small differences. For instance, a traffic light turns yellow before turning green, as a warning to get ready to accelerate. She pointed out all the restaurants we'll probably be eating at, and the shops she likes to frequent. She lives on a street that's equivalent to any "main street" in USA.

Aunt Sandy's house is beautiful. Like everyone else in the vicinity, the place has a bright red roof with wattle-and-daub siding (hooray for HMC...). In town the buildings and houses go 'up' instead of 'out,' and so I was a little surprised to find that 5 stories would be my new home. After a tour of the house, dinner (spaghetti and salad), dessert (strawberry layer cake with tea), more subtle differences (the toilets have no tank, just a hand-sized button on the wall you press to flush) and a shower, I could no longer fight to stay awake. I'd been up for approximately 23 hours, and traveling for 17 of them. I laid down in my huge comfy bed, curled up with my headphones and the book Coraline, and passed out before I knew it. The clock told me it was about 9 pm, my body told me it was about noon.

Now it's 7:30am and I'm wide awake. I woke up at about 5 this morning. There are blinds you can pull on the outside of the house which draw out ANY AND ALL SEMBLANCE OF LIGHT, making the room a great place to stay asleep, but also utterly disorienting if you don't know where you are when you wake up.

Now I've just had some strawberry cake and tea for breakfast, and I'm feeling drowsy and ready to go take a nap.

I'm happy to be here. :)

Since I'm moving out...

2009-03-04T19:09:00.001-08:00

A few things I've learned about my neighbors.

The Asian family across the courtyard has a young, adorable little girl, and has very recently had another precious little child. The other tenants in my building are of considerable age, and are possibly hard-of-hearing (because of the lack of complaints after the BBQ's and parties that have been held here). Especially the lady below us. The guy across the way from my bathroom window has a hammock set up in the summertime, on which he reads books, but just lets his cat roam around on his porch in the winter. He *seems* like a nice guy, but I've never actually met him.

That is all.

twenty-five things.

2009-02-21T15:55:00.001-08:00

1 I like cats and dogs equally, and haven't yet decided what that says about me. But not all cats or all dogs. Labradors and tabby cats... (of course, there are always exceptions).

2 I am a child sponsor, and signed up when I couldn't even support myself.

3 I loved riding my bike when I was growing up. But now I'm afraid to ride in the city, and would rather walk or bus to my destination, even if it means extra time or money.

4 I never really had a solid answer for my favorite animal, and picked something new most of the times I was asked what it was. But I think I decided recently (within the past 6 months or less) that it's probably an octopus or a giant squid. That's because in my dreams, my deepest-darkest fears are represented by those animals trying to reach out and grab me. I *really* enjoy the wonder I feel when I think about it after I wake up.

5 I sort of tend to look down on those less-cultured than I am, but not on those less-educated.

6 I strongly avoid talking about politics, mainly because I'm not nearly as interested in them as other people are.

7 I like listening to others talk about their religions, mainly because I don't have a strong belief of my own.

8 I'm constantly torn between liking having scrapes and bruises because they make me look tougher, and liking not having scrapes or bruises because it makes me look prettier.

9 I believe logic should always prevail over emotion. But it's really fun to indulge sometimes...

10 Whenever someone tells me what song they want played at their funeral, I do my absolute best to remember it, and every once in a while I go over all of the songs in my head just so I don't forget.

11 I recently tried to picture my dream house, and hated anything with walls, no-matter what the style was, or how big the place was that I imagined. I decided I want windows. Nothing but windows on the outside. And I don't want to be far away from a city, but I need a gorgeous view. I think that's why I'd probably really enjoy Seattle.

12 The first CD I ever owned was Pure Moods. I still have it, and listen to it approximately once a year.

13 I've never lived in one house/apartment for more than 2 or 3 years.This fact makes me slightly nervous for when I have kids... I don't want to get stagnant, but I don't want my kids to have a disoriented childhood. I also can't easily picture myself buying a house, even if it were something like my imagined dream-home. I'd rather be in a nice condo, then be able to easily switch-it-up when I was ready.

14 As clumsy as I can be, I have never broken a bone (*knock on wood*). Does that make it a 'graceful' kind of clumsy?

15 I believe I will die either in a car crash or of skin cancer (feeling vs. logic).

16 I've had the same favorite song since I was approximately 4 years old. It's Don't Worry, Be Happy, by Bobby McFerrin. I'm pretty sure I have the memory of the first time I heard it (or at least the first time it had an impact on me enough to last 20 years). It was outside of a court, and I knew it was going to be a long time before I'd see my dad again. He was very sad. Looking back, I'd guess that's when my parents got divorced. Someone once told me the song was "annoyingly optimistic." Psh.

17 I am *extremely* attached to the toys I still have leftover from my childhood. They're just sitting in boxes in my closet, but I really don't think I'll be able to get rid of them.

18 I get very, very offended when someone misjudges my character. And when it happens, I usually don't forget about it for months or even years. The guy working at a seasonal store, who sold me my grey, fake Christmas tree the year before last, said something about me probably shopping or hanging out at Spencer's. Ew. Screw him. I am not crass.

19 I don't think I actually have a strong passion for anything. And I admire people who do. But although I feel like I probably *should* have a strong passion for something, I also feel like not having that makes me more hungry and apt to learn about a greater variety of things. And that makes me feel better.

20 I'm slightly superstitious.

21 Sometimes I miss being a little girl. Not only for the automatic praise and attention, but also for the carefree-ness to not worry about dealing with all the praise and attention. I also miss the more-recent years, when I was carefree enough to lie on the ground in the rain and be happy about it.

22 I'm kind of needy. I really don't like it when someone doesn't like me. Please just like me...!

23 I am always extremely grateful whenever someone grants me a favor or shows me thoughtfulness, no matter how small or seemingly-insignificant.

24 Patience and understanding almost always go further than I realize. I don't know what it would be like to not have those things.

25 Drastic changes are extremely exciting for me. Throw me into a spin-cycle of a situation, and I'll likely thrive.

Let's get me outta here.

2009-02-19T16:10:00.001-08:00

Party is official, and being held on Sat. the 28th. Woo!!

Tug-o-war

2009-02-18T14:01:00.000-08:00

So, I'm definitely joining the Air Force. I think I'm nearly done with the process of entering. Once I'm in, my 3-month waiting period begins. It's during that time that I'll be going over to Germany to stay with my aunt. There was a small period of time in which I was considering going to visit my dad, brother and sisters before going to Germany, and I was slightly stressing on the timing of everything. But that's all been put to rest since I found out that basically, I had to choose between one or the other. I chose Germany, and my aunt. She's been an awesomely huge help in my whole process of joining, and she'll be able to teach me a thing or two about military life before I go.

Now I just need to inform my dad that I won't be going to visit anytime soon... When he proposed the idea I told him I would think about it. He told me he was going to start telling people that there was a possibility that I was going to be visiting. The next time I talked to my brother and sister, they seemed to be under the impression that I was going down there for sure. So of course, I'm sure my dad has been telling my entire family that I'll be going to Louisiana for a while. Now I have to break the news that I'm not going at all, and probably break his heart in the process. Meanwhile, my siblings will no-doubt be upset with me for getting dad's hopes up, then not coming. Oh well, I suppose. I know I'll have a chance to visit when I get to take leave. And there's also a chance I'll be stationed semi-near them.

I really, *really* hope I get a chance to throw myself a going-away party before I move. I have to be out of my apartment by the 5th of March, at which point I'll be going to stay with my mom until I leave for Germany. I want a last chance to see all of the people I care about up here before I disappear for like 4 years. Maybe I should start planning one and informing people of it today? I have a stupid work schedule for the next two weeks, and I'm pretty sure I have to work on the ideal "Friday Night." But if so, maybe I can just request it off (and the following morning, heh...). It's probably early enough for that, yeah? I'm gunna do it. Consider a party planned for Friday the 27th. Heck yeah. Mark your calendars.

I admit it...

2009-02-06T22:19:00.001-08:00

I have a big ole crush. :)

Slap Jack

2009-01-22T20:02:00.000-08:00

Great game.

^_______^

Good moring! Weird night...

2009-01-20T17:39:00.000-08:00

Wanna tell you about my weird night at The Pub [PATEOTU] last night.

First of all, i wasn't even sure i wanted to go out at all, due to the uneasy nature of my stomach earlier that day. But i decided the virus had come and gone, and a few glasses of beer would be rather refreshing. So Josh and Drew come to pick me up, and the night begins.

We arrive at The Pub. While ordering the pitcher of Mirror Pond, we notice it's open mic night. Drew jots something down on the sign-up list. A nearby patron takes notice, and starts talking to us. Strikes up a convo about open mic night, exchanges introductions, whatever. We go sit down. Josh brings up the fact that Drew wrote his name on the sign-up sheet. What are you gunna do when they call your name, we ask. Drew says he'll improvise. Hehe, that should be good...

Smoke break. We all go outside to keep each other company, and Drew leaves his camera and phone on the table. Josh decides to pocket them, then see how long it takes Drew to notice. I smile and forget about it.

Once inside again, we decide to grab an open pool table. Turns out i was on FIRE! Won several games of cutthroat. Go me!! Anyway, the dude from earlier, at the bar, is sitting in our area. He notices there are only three of us at the table, and tries to get in on a game of doubles. We tell him, if I win the next game, we'll play doubles with him. If not, we keep going with cutthroat. Without him. So a few more games go by... I was wining a bit, but we sort of kept that fact from Extra Dude. See, he was sort of a creeper. Maybe he was just drunk, who knows. But we were perfectly happy without him.

Some guy walks in that i recognize. Ohh man, it's the guy who dropped me on my head, onto a bench, a few weeks ago. Never let a drunk guy try to dip you while dancing. He takes a seat close to our table. I didn't expect he would recognize me, if i ever did see him again. Well, tonight's the night, and i'm pretty sure he doesn't. Hah, fine with me.

Meanwhile, Drew lets me in on the secret that he actually put Josh's name on the sign-up list, not his own. Hehe. I laugh, a lot, and forget about it.

Finally Creeper gets us to let him play a game of doubles. Guess what, he's on my team. Hooray.

By this time, a performer has gotten up to stage that Drew and i happen to be fans of. We saw him by accident a few weeks ago, when we also happened to go on a Monday night (which is the regular night for open-mic acts). When we'd seen him a few weeks ago, he could barely stand. Seriously, he was pinballing off of everything near his path due to what appeared to be vast alcohol consumption. To our surprise, however, he took the stage, and won over the crowd. This guy has a really unique voice, lots of soul, and can pelt it out so the whole place has no choice but to pay attention. Awesome.

So anyway, he's up playing again. It's good to hear him. :)

Back at our pool game, Creeper is getting touchy-feely. Apparently with everyone. Rubs on the back, grabs on the side... Ugh. I try to keep my distance. I step up to line up a shot that would give me a good leave. He comes over to point out an obvious and easy shot. I'm already completely annoyed that he's been throwing compliments at me left and right all night, over every mundane move i make. I try to be nice, but thankfully Drew calls out that i know how to play the game. Creeper walks away. I guess that's when he told the guys that he was attracted to my strong will, since i didn't take his advice. Ew.

Just as the game was ending, Fumbles tries to strike up a conversation with me. "We've met," i tell him. "Are you sure about that? What's my name?" I tell him his name. You can see the "oh shit" look materialize on his face. "Yeah, it was a few weeks ago. You dropped me on my head. I had a knot there for days." At least three. "Oh shit, that was you?! Didn't you have a friend with you? Have you known it was me the whole night, or did you just recognize me?? Oh, hey man." Just then his friend walks in, the same friend that witnessed my head injury a few weeks ago. "Hey! Do you remember me?," i ask, thinking it was perfect timing that he should show up. He was pretty much sober that night, i knew he'd recognize me. Turns out he even remembered my name.

The game ends. I think Drew and Josh won, 'cause i couldn't concentrate on a single shot i tried to take. They pretty much swept the table.

I go sit down to sip on my beer some more. Just as i'm relazing, some dreadlocked-girl comes over to our table. "Hey girl! Will you come outside with me? 'Cause you're a girl?" I decide to go, thinking she's probably not a nutcase. I was wrong, turns out she was. Schitzophrenic, to be exact. I don't know why she wanted to go outside with a girl, she never really struck up a meaningful conversation with me. Or even a convo with any semblance of a purpose... Oh well. I snuck away when she turned her interests to someone else. The three of us left asap, went home and watched a movie.

Weird night. Guess that's what Mondays are for...

The beginning

2009-01-16T00:57:00.001-08:00

Just watched the beginning that I had missed. Bawled SO much more. Ohh man. If you're in the mood for a good cry ever... Reservation Road.
Good actors + good story = gooood stuff.

Reservation Road

2009-01-16T00:25:00.001-08:00

Bawling my eyes out right now. The movie just ended, and it was so good. I didn't even see the first half hour of the movie, but I was still emotionally invested in, and had full empathy with, each of the characters. And with the good storytelling, I was easily able to figure out that it was Mark Ruffalo's character that had killed the boy in the beginning of the movie. Oh man, so good.

Also, never ever thought Joaquin Phoenix looked like Ryan until now. Probably because I don't see his face anymore.

Anyway, good movie. Don't know why I avoided it for so long... guess I had to be in the right mood.

Lip locks

2009-01-13T11:35:00.001-08:00

When it comes to kissing, there have been very few mouths that I'd consider were well-suited to kiss mine. I'd say three, maybe four, ever, although I still love kissing and snuggling sometimes more than coitis (what can I say, I'm a girl). However, there are a few moves that I just really can't handle. And many more that I tolerate, but don't fully enjoy.

One of the strange-yet-tolerable instances is the "swirling round and round tongue." I really don't enjoy that, but sometimes it seems like more people dig it than don't, so I guess I can put up with it. But throw in the hard-as-a-rock pointy tongue, and I'm outta there. Nothing says romance like giving your tongue a swirley in my mouth... Ew.

Another fascinatingly-disgusting tongue trick is the whole "lapping like dogs do" bit. Just thinking about this one literally makes me sick to my stomach. This is a kiss, hi. Not a feeding frenzy for a baby bird. Excuse me while I go vomit...

Anyway, this is what was on my mind this morning. Thought I'd share. Now go out there and wow 'em with your non-gross tongue moves, you crazy kissers.

I'm making a name for myself...

2008-12-19T17:09:00.000-08:00

And it isn't pretty.

I need to put on the brakes. Fast.

Things and stuff

2008-12-17T17:40:00.000-08:00

Not exactly sure how or what I'm feeling... General exhaustion, maybe.
Fatigue. I'm happy to be out of re house right now, but looking at all
the awesome things I can't buy for my friends doesn't exactly
constitute a good time.

On another note, I feel like I'm burning a few too many bridges, and
quickly. Pretty soon I'll be burnt right into isolation.

And finally, on a happier note, I'm really looking forward to the LAN
party this year. It's gonna be awesome to see everyone.

I feel like there's a lot more to say, but I can't really put a point
on any of it. Blah. Later.

and then... (aka how i spent my seattle vacation)

2008-11-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

Tom: Tell me a REAL STORY!

Callie: haha, kay.

got there thursday night, lucas and drew picked me up, then we went over to drew's bro's house (tyler) where he and his gf made us enchiladas. then we watched the office.

drove up to bellingham that night and went to bed. friday... well, i don't really remember what happened friday morning. but friday evening drew and i went to a restaurant where they have the grill and cook your food in front of you

that was fun

and tasty!

then we went to a martini bar with bobbi, drew's roommie

i had a really tasty martini, and i decided that i need to go out for martinis more often

oh wait! hah, i remember the rest of that day

i went to work and school with drew

even got to go to a class and listen to a few of his peers give lectures on technology-related subjects.

then we went to the mall, where drew bought me a pretty dress for the wedding we were going to.

then saturday was the wedding. in the morning we went to... somewhere? then to a park on the water where we walked the boardwalk for a little while

then went home to get ready for weddingness

the wedding was in seattle on a boat. it was really pretty, and pretty fun! open bar, really tasty dinner, music and dancing and lots of cool people

i made a few friends! i like when cool girls think i'm cool.

Tom: rad

Callie: then sunday, well, i can skip sunday right?

since it's all detailed elsewhere

Tom: sure if sunday had no details

Callie: what? i told all about sunday. i could copy and paste, if you want :P

Tom: why'd you say just now that you'd skip sunday then?

Callie: that day we went to ihop for breakfast, then lucas got into town and we went to a play, "And Then There Was One" (comedy/satire/murder-mystery). After that we went frolfing (aka disc golfing), then to an ice cream parlor where i tried rose-flavored ice cream, and i managed to wear about half of the treat. apparently i've forgotten how to eat fun things. by this point it was dinner time, so we went to some bar/restaurant place and had taaaasssty burgers. then back to drew's place, watched iron man, then lucas drove me down to seattle. i promptly passed out.

Tom: very nice

Callie: the rose ice cream was pretty good!

they had other cool/weird flavors too

Tom: sounds really interesting

Callie: like vanilla black pepper

Tom: huh

Callie: k, then monday i was in seattle again. me n lucas went to his school and he gave me a tour of the campus. it's beautiful. it made me want to go back to school.

in the common square they had sidewalk chalk, so we colored for a lil while on the bricks

i made a dragon

2 dragons

a bigger one, and a cooler one

Tom: nice

Callie: then we happened upon a pretty cool art gallery. it claimed to be the coolest art gallery in seattle, so of course we had to stop in.

and yeah, it was pretty cool. i wanted lots of the pieces in there.

then went to a chocolate factory, where i had an earl grey truffle, and a burnt sugar truffle. both were tremendously delicious!

Tom: wow

Callie: then we walked down to the canal where we ate our chocolates.

Tom: Earl Grey truffles are delicious

Callie: talked of renting a canoe

they really are!

ended up going to a couple of parks instead. the first one was overlooking the water, with downtown in the distance

oh, that's where the picture i sent you was from, btw

Tom: oh okay

Callie: then we went to a park in the middle of the city, but it's in a valley with lots of trees, so it feels like you're in the wilderness since you can't see or hear the city

then i caught my train home!

the end

so did i effectively bore you to death with my seattle story? 'cause that's why i don't tell stories. i'm not the greatest at making them sound interesting. i have a more simplistic view on storylines.

Feeling wholly defeated.

2008-09-22T18:06:00.000-07:00

Verbatim:
in a nutshell, i'm down because everything seems to be going against the grain for me. i'm usually up for a challenge, and can face big changes head-on, but everything hitting me at once is just making me feel defeated. my roommate/best friend/ex-boyfriend (of four years) is moving out in a week. i knew he wouldn't be around forever, but it's still extremely hard for me to finally let him go. i know i'll be down for a while after he's gone. i have to decide if i want to stay at my job (a job that's making me miserable) and wait until i can end it on good terms with a secured new job, or just leave and spend my days forging through the great unknown, hoping i land something else soon (even if i have to settle for a joe-job). also, i don't have a car, which means once paul leaves i'll have to start commuting to work by bus (over an hour each way). i can do that, but if i found a job downtown i'd have a 20-minute commute. not to mention the glamor of working downtown. i still don't know how i'm going to pay off my student loans. my two other best friends (plant and nicole, also co-workers) are pretty much a duo right now, leaving me to be the third wheel. i just found out that one of my favorite uncles is in a coma, one of my sisters is depressed, and another sister is in the hospital for surgery. to top it off, i spent the past two and a half months turning down guys and otherwise killing my dating life, because i thought i was pursuing something at least semi-worthwhile, only to find out that i'm easy to walk away from.
so... yes. lately i've been extremely exhausted, abnormally quiet, a little bit snappy, and devastatingly unmotivated. i wish i could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but i know that it'll take a lot of effort on my part before i get there, and i really don't think i can muster the effort right now. overall, i'm pretty much disheartened by everything.

Discipline or Masochism?

2008-09-08T13:18:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling much better. I think I had a therapeutic weekend. I went nonstop for the entire duration, but I think it was good for me. I feel better. There's nothing like wearing myself out to the point of exhaustion, and pretty much beating the concern and worries out of me. It seems like an interesting way to go about one's life. Maybe I've found exactly what I need...

Wicked Game

2008-09-04T18:53:00.001-07:00

Is there any particular reason I feel like my whole earth is falling apart? I don't understand why the foundation is falling away from me. I thought I had everything under control.

Nothing is in control. Everything is wrong.

I thought I could handle this. All of it. Not a single thing is right for me at the moment. I don't know what to do.

Holy Year, Batman!!

2008-08-03T20:49:00.000-07:00

Upfront: I did not come here to update you on my entire past year. In fact, the amount of time that's passed since my last update is precisely what's kept me away for so long. I just don't want to be faced with the task of trying to remember all the best things that have happened to me over the past year, just to tie them all up in a neat little concise package.

Why am I here, then? Quite simply, because of a boy. I'm being one of those giddy, girly, pathetic losers who goes ga-ga over the thought of talking to that someone she has a crush on.

Yes, it's safe to say I'm over Paul. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you need the "yearly update," which, again, I do not plan on writing. Just give me a call every once in a while.)

The problem with me being brain-mush over this boy is that he lives really far away. And while that isn't entirely a huge problem (with all this modern technology floating about), I really would like someone to hang out with, go see a movie, have dinner, snuggle on the couch with.

Hopefully he's coming to visit me soon. During that time, the plan is to have roughly the best 3 days of our lives (including skydiving!). And really, I'm extremely looking forward to the visit. He's never been to Portland, so I get to show it to him through my eyes. Though he's not quite like any of my other friends, so who knows, I may even end up seeing Portland in a different way.

You know what though, I feel like I'm getting way too caught up in this whole thing. I mean, really, I barely even know the guy. I'm probably getting too far ahead of myself. In fact I know I am.

I guess what the real question here is, why am I letting myself get soo swept away by someone who I just met, and lives in another state?

Stressed and Complaining

2007-05-27T21:30:00.001-07:00

My right eye has been twitching at least once a day for the past several weeks. It doesn't flutter, it's more like it just gets stuck at half-mast for an instant while I'm blinking.

My back is always stiff. Basically, I feel soreness when I move in any direction. And of course the mattress doesn't help. It never does...

I'm tired all the time, except for at bedtime. That's when I can't seem to calm down enough to let myself fall asleep. Or rather, my mind won't settle. And when I do sleep, it's light and broken.

Luckily, headaches have been infrequent. Though my mind still goes slow when it comes time to use it.

The good news: I finished Editorial Illustration a few weeks ago, and in Student Studio we'll be finished with the project and with the client on Wednesday (hopefully). So that means I can put all of my (very meager) energy into Senior Seminar and Portfolio Professional Development. Yay.

Deadlines

2007-04-23T13:38:00.000-07:00

1 week 'till my birthday.

2 weeks 'till our move-in day.

7 weeks and 4 days 'till graduation.

I am so excited.

Ketchup

2007-03-26T20:04:00.000-07:00

Already done with another term of school. And now I only have one left before earning my valuable piece of paper and venturing out into the real world. But let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. Ima tell you 'bout the breeze that was Finals Week, Winter '07.

But first, leading up to finals: I don't believe I've made one mention of the giant group project I've had to work on for Environmental Graphic Design. This class (certainly not to be confused with Green Design) covers the graphic design found in spacial settings, and one of our projects for the term was to make a sort of museum exhibit to be produced in full scale, but no larger than 7' tall x 5' wide x 2' deep, and its subject could be anything design-related. So my group and I came up with "Creative Blocks" as a topic, and worked happily on it all term, then finished construction on the Saturday & Sunday before its Monday Due Date on finals week. Then Sunday night I finished up the other project for that class (it was a "Dale" class, you know how he gets... homework up the yazoo), and Paul printed it for me Monday morning to be ready for the afternoon final.

Oh, and here's a picture of our finished project! It's currently on display on the second floor of the school, in the alcove across from room 263.

My next final was Tuesday night, and all I needed for that class was two copies of my mini-book. So Monday night , Paul and I fell asleep promptly upon our home arrival (after our final we had gone out for a couple drinks with Ryan, so we got home at about 9, I think). Then we woke up at about 3 or 4 in the morning, and worked until completion on our mini books. Paul's, by the way, looks really cool. His whole identity is D&D-themed, as explained in his most recent blog posting. Anyway, that was the day I went to Lazerquick and ended up pissed at the world before 10 am. Luckily I was able to cool off shortly after ranting, and the rest of the day went fine, including the presenting of my mini book, which was very casual. My next final wasn't until Thursday morning.

In the meantime, however, I needed to evacuate my apartment. This is the term that my lease was up, so it was finally time to take all my stuff away from the strangers living with it. So I spent Wednesday on packing my belongings into boxes. I was missing a few plates, nearly all my cups, a few pots and pans, my knife block, and probably some other things I can easily replace and I don't care much about. But, I was also missing several pieces of art I did that I can never replace! For this, I am very upset. The two pieces I am most concerned about were the two I received numerous compliments for. I don't consider myself an artist, and these certainly weren't masterpieces. But I am damned sentimental, especially when it comes to something that I made and am rather fond of. I know it's my fault for leaving my stuff there for so long with people I don't know/trust, but still. It just really sucks.

Anyway, Wednesday night was spent staring at the internet, then at about midnight I opened up my homework files only to decide that there were no more changes I needed to make before printing out my final project. So I went to bed rather late (after returning from KINKO'S), and the next morning all we had to do was hand in our final zines before we were sent on our way. I did some more packing at my apartment, Paul's and Ryan's cars were loaded up, and we made our trip up to Centralia for my stuff to be stored at Paul's parents' house. Then we were back in Portland, Ryan went home, Paul and I loaded up his car again, and we were on our way to C-town once again (but not before me forgetting my phone in the apartment after I had already turned in my key... That was pretty crappy).

And so came Friday, a big day for a few of my friends. Paul and I went to the Portfolio Show, gathering the business cards of everyone we came across. The Graphic Design show was extremely small compared to other terms. And they all had good books (some better than others, of course, but no one had the usual last-minute, terribly-crappy-projects book). Ryan's was fantastic, of course. Then we went to the ceremony to watch Ryan walk. Afterwards, we swung by Angie's after-party, then settled down at Ryan's party at The Kennedy School. It was a relaxed night, not meant for heavy drinking, Paul and I decided. That would come Saturday night.

And it was so. Saturday brought David's predictable end-of-term party, which Paul and I attended after catching a flick in Beaverton. We watched Zodiac, which was largely just a disappointment. Jake Gyllenhaal never fails to dazzle the eyes, though... Man what a cutie! The party was without music, which meant no dancing for me (which is a first!). Still, I think everyone had fun. I did, anyway, and I know Paul did, and so did Ryan. And that's good enough for me. The cops did show up at one point, however... They did the last time we were there, too. But last time, whoever answered the door was smart enough to not let them in. This time it was a smart-mouthed moron who's largely lacking in humility. So, in the cops came, collecting everybody's ID's, then leaving again, giving a citation only to the big-mouth. They didn't ask us to break it up, they didn't tell the under-aged ones to go home, they basically just gave us a warning to screen who we let into the party, and be careful of the morons like the one they cited.

So all-in-all, an eventful week. Now I'm hoping for an extremely un-eventful week, as it is my only bit of vacation before returning to my final three months of school. I'm hoping it won't be as hellish as I'm expecting it to be...

FUCK LAZERQUICK.

2007-03-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I was under the impression that Lazerquick was cheaper, friendlier, and better quality than Kinkos. I'm sorry to Lazerquick for thinking they'd be a better choice. Apparently, I was wrong about all of it. I got some prints there this morning at 8 am ((2) 11x17 document, (1) 11x17 double-sided document, (2) 5 page double-sided document, (3) 8.5x11 document), I was there for an hour, and I was charged $48. The guy who helped me treated me with no respect, talking to me as though I knew nothing about what I was doing, or what he was doing, or what the printers were capable of, or how to set up a document so that it prints correctly. When in fact, I am very aware of all of these things. I understand that printers vary, and that certain papers can't be run through some printers. I understand that, and I'm willing to work with that. But DO NOT fucking tell me that what I'm trying to do is impossible. I know for a fact it's not, as I've had it done before at other places (i.e. Kinkos). And DO NOT tell me that anywhere I go will charge me a "RIP" fee to open any digital file that I bring in. Let alone a $16 per file charge. Fucking ridiculous. And if I want something double-sided, and I know it won't line up exactly, but I don't mind and still want the print, then give it to me, for fuck's sake. Don't give me two separate prints and expect me to deal with it myself when that isn't what I said I was okay with. On top of this fiasco, all my prints are of poor quality. I could have drawn them better, with a crayon. What a joke.

I'll never nay-say Kinko's again. At least they give me what I want/need, and at a fairly reasonable cost, and usually with a smile. God damn.

No fries, and could you make that soda a Slimfast?

2007-03-07T11:59:00.000-08:00

Last night I made Chicken a la King. I never knew something could be so tastealicious with so few ingredients! Yum. And it's oh-so filling. And quick. I haven't had this meal in years and years, and I completely forgot about it until the other night, when I dragged out my Betty Crocker Cookbook so we could go grocery shopping for some good eats.

This "making dinner at home" thing has been going pretty well, actually. We've been eating fast food so much less. I don't think we've even had any Muchos Gracias in a couple of weeks... We've both been losing weight because of it. Which, that's what Paul was hoping for... I, however, was already at a pretty good weight (imo) and now I'm maybe a little on the light side... I guess that just means I need to start working out more so I can firm up those muscles!

Sugary Sweet

2007-02-28T15:02:00.000-08:00

An excerpt from a convo with Ryan:

Callie:man, i totally missed out on easter candy last year

i have to make sure that doesn't happen this year.

i gotta stay on top of that shit

Ryan: haha

Callie: damn, it can slip through your fingers in an instant if you don't pay attention

damned seasonal candies...

Ryan: dork

I'm sure we all know how painfully true this all is. You just gotta make sure you pay attention. Fact: Seasonal candy is by far the tastiest of all the candies. So do NOT let it slip away. Grab that cash/candy with both hands and make a stash.

Motivation is a slave-driver

2007-02-23T23:20:00.000-08:00

Well, Wednesday went fairly well. I didn't get everything on my list, but I got the bulk of it done, including the most important parts (things that were cut out of my day: lunch, 1/4 of the dirty dishes, my identity project, and one of the businesses I meant to email). Everything else went pretty well, though.

The running, however... Dang. I don't know why people would voluntarily put themselves through such torture! I mean, don't get me wrong, it's only proved to me that I need to go more often. But I was gone for a little more than half an hour, and I came back completely out of breath, my eardrums were in near-excruciating pain (that happen to anyone else?), my chest was on fire, and my legs have officially stopped working for the past two days. This is what I get for trying to turn around and be healthy... I wasn't even running the whole time! On the way back home in my loop, I walked for a good portion of the way, and even stopped completely at some points. I had no idea I was this out-of-shape. Damn those good days, being all tempting for exercise and whatnot! Sunshine will be the death of me. Mark my words.

Also, I must confess that I did not quit smoking yesterday. I only had one cigarette on Wednesday, but I had two more yesterday, and another this morning. However, I've made up my mind for good! I'm done smoking. I promise. So don't tempt me, you temptresses!

Okay, this may be related to the smoking, or maybe not-- I'm not quite sure, since I'm not really a heavy smoker by any means. But I've kiiiind of been coughing up blood lately... I didn't think too much of it until I happened to mention it to Paul this morning, who lightly freaked out at me. So, I now have a doctor's appointment next Wednesday. I'm not really worried, just pretty curious. It's been going on for weeks, but moreso in the past couple days, when I developed a sore throat and cough (before the coughing, the blood was showing up in whatever came out of me clearing my throat). This recent cough has also been accompanied with chills and nightsweats. Do you think it's TB? I think I've convinced myself it's not, but I suppose there's still a chance of it... I'm sure it's something that's practically nothing, though. Don't worry.

So that's what's up with me. I plan on having a nice, quiet weekend with Paul. I'll probably try to finish dreading his hair tomorrow (OH YES. It's finally happened.). It's currently 2/3 of the way done, with the hair of the crown of his head just hangin' out bundled in nine little pony tails. It's gunna look awesome... you can almost feel the dread.

Motivated.

2007-02-21T12:18:00.000-08:00

Today:
Smoke my morning cigarette
Brush my teeth
Drink a Strawberry Slimfast
Stretch
Go for a run/jog
Do the dishes piled in the sink
Fold the laundry sitting on the couch
Get another load of laundry going
Make lunch
Figure out what to base my zine on (for a class assignment)
Work on my identity/business card/resume/mini portfolio book look
Post assignments for my group's project
Send my resume to a couple companies
Start dinner, as Paul will probably be home soon by now

I figure if I let the world know what I mean to do today, it might actually all get done. And I know, I know... smoking is maaaaaybe counter-productive to the whole jogging thing, but it's a start, right? Tell you what-- I'll make it the only cigarette of today. And then I'll have one more tomorrow morning, and then I'll quit. Deal? Kay. Deal.

Welp, I'm off to start my day. Wish me luck!

Let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the looobby, and get ourselves a snack!

2007-02-19T09:49:00.000-08:00

Wednesday (Valatimes Day): Russian Dolls.
Paul brought me home a single pink carnation (which is the first flower I've ever received from a boy, not including when one picks the flower right in front of me and hands it to me... that's not quite as romantic...). I thought it was very, very sweet, especially considering that Paul's certainly not the type to get a girl flowers. Anyway, our Valentine's Day activity was to curl up together, and snuggle on the couch to watch the 2 hour-long movie that's been sitting on our coffee table for a month, that we hadn't yet had the time to watch. It was interesting-- sort of a strange movie. It was kind of a love story, but not exactly. More like one of those "oh what does it all mean... relationships... love... sex..." kind of movies. Anyway, I liked it (I grabbed it in the first place, because it has one of my favorite actresses in it: Audrey Tatou).

Thursday: Pan's Labyrinth
This movie is everything I've always wanted in a movie since I was a little girl. It has a fairy tale storyline filled with darkness, violence, mystery, wonder, betrayal, mystique, and very blurred lines between fantasy and reality. It's amazing, that's all I can say. Paul and I each downed three beers and then decided to walk down to the movie theater. I figured it would be the perfect time to see this; I've heard nothing but good things and my curiosity had been thoroughly roused.

Friday: Apocalypse Now!
We ended up with another stretch of time, since it was somehow too late to do any homework, yet too early to go to bed still. So we settled down to watch this three-hour-and-twenty-minute movie, which Paul snagged for ten bucks at Best Buy a while back. Unfortunately, this movie was as slow as it was long. I was this close to falling asleep by the end of it. I'm not saying I disliked it, because it was admittedly one of the better war-story movies. It's just not exactly in my taste. And man-oh-man, Harrison Ford is so young! Hah! It was silly. Oh right, Martin Sheen, too (and dang, I had no idea how much Charlie looks like him!).

Saturday: Ghost Rider
Not "Ghostwriter," as I previously had thought (only for a few minutes, though). Mr. Nicholas Cage is quite the BA (imho). Now, listen. I'm sure most of you know the difference between a "movie" and a "film" so I won't go into it. But let it be known that Ghost Rider is a fun "movie." I like it, I don't care what you say. I don't mind the bad actors or the bad special effects. I think it's fun to watch. I enjoyed it. Muchly, considering the slandering brief I'd been given from Paul, beforehand (After watching it, he puts the movie at a step above Fantastic 4. Now that was a bad movie-- a crappy piece of crap that should never have been produced. This movie, however, was fun! I can't sum it up in any other word). Fun.

Sunday: The Shins (live at the Paramount Theater, Seattle!)
YYYYEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! I saw them. I did. For reals. And you know what? It was awesome. And I got a cool t-shirt. AND, I am the proud owner of the crumpled piece of paper that is The Shins' set list!!! YES!!! UUuuuuggghhhh it was so worth this lack-of-sleep hangover I have. MMMMmmm hmmmmm.

Shouldn't a song called "Cowbell" include some cowbell?

2007-02-09T18:31:00.000-08:00

If only blogging were as satisfying as digging the crud from under my fingernails with an Xacto knife... I think I'd post a lot more often, and have more interesting things to say when I did.

It seems that lately, bloggers across teh intarwebs are having existential discussions. "Why do I blog?" "Do I really want comments?" "Who really cares?" Well, I've decided to join the bunch, in giving my own opinions on the matters.

Concerning comments: I certainly don't expect comments. I'm not disappointed when I don't receive comments, and when I do, it's like a little bonus. I blog mainly for me, because it's much easier than keeping a diary (I've started diaries before, and they always fall by the wayside), but of course, it's also to keep my friends informed. It's somewhat of a record of my thoughts. Although, I certainly don't use it that way... maybe I should.

Concerning content: I write about anything. I don't really have many constants in my life, so it's easier just to write about "my life, in general." Though, I can't help but wonder... does that make it boring? Does that make it irrelevant to anyone I don't know? Probably. I think if I were someone else, I certainly wouldn't look forward to reading new posts on this blog. It's inconsistent, and it's less-than-entertaining.

That said, let's move on to today's regularly scheduled post.

The good news is, Backstreet boys has not been stuck in my head since the day I posted about it. Hooray! The other good news is, Paul and I were not fighting about the little incident that occurred a few days ago. Instead, it spurred a lengthy, in-depth, nice discussion, which was great. Just thought I'd let you know. And the last good news is: there is no bad news.

Avantasia

2007-02-08T09:38:00.000-08:00

Epic.

Peat:Repeat

2007-02-05T11:22:00.001-08:00

Do you have any idea how many times "All I Have to Give," by Backstreet Boys, has been stuck in my head over the past few days?!?! Waaay too many. I don't know where it's coming from, but it won't go away. Jeezy creezy!

Peat:Repeat

2007-02-05T11:22:00.000-08:00

This video is TOTALLY MATH!

2007-02-04T12:18:00.000-08:00

Lucas posted this on his blog a few weeks ago, which led me to believe this was going to be one of the most awesome things I've ever seen, before I even watched it. And you know what? I was right. Thanks Lucas!!

I honestly want to know...

2007-01-29T18:03:00.000-08:00

if I am I being selfish, rude or demanding in this situation:

Paul was messing around on his computer, trying to install a new Windows appearance. We had just gotten home from school, and I didn't feel like jumping right back into more homework right away. Instead, I got the bright idea that, since neither of us was really doing anything, maybe Paul and I could hang out; we've both just been doing homework lately, and haven't had much of a chance to "chill" together. So I asked Paul if he wanted to hang out with me, and he said "no." So of course, I asked why not, and he said it was because he was in the middle of something. I pointed out that it wasn't anything important, which I had thought because he could come back to it at any time; he wasn't gaming, wasn't doing homework, nothing that was time-sensitive. But he insisted that it was important to him, and he didn't want to stop just so we could spend time together.

Paul tried to explain to me how I was being selfish, rude and demanding, but I still don't understand why that is. I still don't feel like I was in the wrong. Could someone else maybe shed some light on this?

Wheeeeeeeee!

2007-01-27T21:15:00.000-08:00

The other day I ended up letting Ryan take pictures of me, after all. We only had an hour, because Paul was due to get off of work at that time. But it was fun, no matter how stiff I look in the pictures. I just have a hard time being a model with certain people, I guess. I'm sure my mood has something to do with it, too. But my favorite photographer is still Tommy (sorry Ryan). :)

FYI: One car between two people is definitely not convenient, especially when you've gotten used to otherwise. I've relied on having a car for years, now... I just hope my poor little sedan isn't as broken as I'm thinking it probably is.

Last night Paul and I went to Jesse's b-day party, which was at a very cool-looking place called Bridgeport Brewpub (which sounds to me like they jumbled a bunch of words together). We had no idea it was there, and apparently it's a pretty hoppin' joint. In addition to Jesse's party, there just so happened to be a going-away party being thrown for another girl from our school at the next table. So there were a ton of people there that we knew, and a few new faces. Oh, I tried a beer I actually enjoyed the taste of (surprise!) called Blue Heron. And it was a darker beer! Surprises all around.

At the moment, I have my bangs pulled into two ponytails coming off the front of each side of my head, with another ponytail in the back. I feel pretty (haha).

You know, I absolutely love reading my friends' blogs. I thoroughly enjoy it. So, to all of you out there who have one and haven't updated in a while, you really shouuuuuuld. And to those of you who have just updated for the first time in a year, don't think you can get away with just that one update for months to come. :P

Oh, I don't know how many of you watch House, but I saw it for the first time over Christmas break (after hearing numerous raves about it from Drew), and that show is amazing. I love Gregory House. His cold, ruthless, assholian attitude is oddly attractive, and I can't get enough of the show. Paul merely loves to hate it. Anyway, we've been watching the episodes one-by-one on alluc.org. We finally made it through Season 1, and just started to sink our teeth into Season 2, but all the episodes have been taken down! I'm so distraught over it I can barely eat (jay-kay guys, jk). But still, it's very upsetting. I need my House fix.

A little over a year ago, I bought the book Survivor, by Chuck Palahnuik, as a book to read in the airports and on the airplanes while on my way to and from Florida. I got nearly half-way through the book, and then never picked it up again. There's nothing wrong with the book. I like it. Just, for some reason or another, I have not touched a book in nearly a year. However, I picked it back up again, and finished reading it a couple of days ago. Now, I have two more books sitting in my "to read" pile. They are Invisible Monsters, by Chuck Palahnuik, and Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, by Christopher Moore. The first one I got just because I'm pretty sure it's the only one of his books I haven't read, yet. The second one I hear is hilarious. One of my former roommates (Riki) read it, and recommended it to me. Besides that, Christopher Moore is the name of my first step-dad, which is kind of weird. The first time I had discovered the writer by this name, was by a poster hanging in a Powell's window, advertising a book called The Stupidest Angel. Sounds like comedy, to me. I'll let you know how these turn out.

Gimme dat ding!

2007-01-24T12:59:00.000-08:00

The snow last week was magnificent. Paul started to go into work, but came back when he found out no one would be there. So we had a Fun Day together, instead. It started off with a nice, big, hearty breakfast at McDonald's. Then we went home to play in the snow a bit, before rushing off again to Game Stop. There, we found Lord of the Rings: The Third Age, which had a co-op mode, meant for snuggling up on the couch while we played together.

After our triumph at the video game store, we searched Wal-Mart for any resemblances of a sled (since they didn't carry any actual sleds), but the best we could come up with was a garbage can lid. So we decided to search Fred Meyer's, instead. There were no sleds at Freddy's. We went home empty-handed, yet still determined to make the most of things. There (home), we found a couple of lids to large Rubbermaid containers, so we decided to give them a go. Once out on the powder, standing on the hill, we realized there was no way our sheets of plastic would stay on top of the snow, with our body weights pressing on top of them. They simply dug into the snow deeper, with every inch we tried to move. So, back at the drawing board, Paul decided to make a pair of pants out of a garbage bag. The slick surface would have worked, but it would have made his ass hurt like hell. I told him to scoot around on the ground, to try it out... It was hilarious to watch, take my word for it. Anyway, just as we were about to take off for the hill once more, Debbie (Paul's aunt, and our upstairs-roomie) stepped out of the house, proclaiming her ownership of a sled she'd be willing to let us borrow. We snatched the sled, took off for the hills, and tore down the snow. All was right within the world. After thoroughly wearing ourselves out, Paul and I trekked back home, peeled off our wet clothing, curled up under a blanket, and embarked upon the epic battle that is LOTR!. I can't remember what happened after that. Probably dinner...

This morning I woke up bright and early with Paul, so I could catch a ride with him into town (since my car doesn't work... that's a-whole-'nother story... but it has to do with the freezing temperatures...). The reason I needed to come to town was to go down to PSU to check out a textbook I need for my online Physics class. However, upon arriving at the library, I came to find out that I could not check out the book, because it's been put on reserve by a teacher, and I am not a student. So, I'm stuck doing nothing in Portland until Paul gets off of work, which is at 4.

To top things off, I have an odd amount of energy emanating from me, and no one to share it with, since everyone's either in class or at work. I've been trying to talk to Paul and Meggan, but they're both busy... working. Psh. I randomly ran into Lizz on the streetcar back from PSU, which was very cool. But she had to go to class, so that was short-lived. Oh, I also randomly ran into Tesheeka's (former roommate) mother, whom I had not seen in about a year-and-a-half. That was kind of weird. I did manage to catch Ryan, too, before I headed down to PSU. He was downtown for work, but left fifteen minutes later 'cause he had nothing to do. Or something like that. So we hung out for a little while before he headed back home. He's been practically begging for me to let him take pictures of me, and I've been less than cooperative. So... that might finally happen today, on account of my abundance of energy and lack of other activities.

I've been wanting to say "thank you" to everyone for all the support you've given me. I'm really sorry I haven't replied to any of your emails. Honestly, the only reason is that I don't really know what to say. I greatly appreciate everything each of you has said to me, and it feels really good to know you're there for me (not that I ever had a doubt :) ). But really, I just don't know what to say about this. Now that it's over with, I think I just wanted to let you know that it had happened. I don't feel regret or shame, and I know what I did was the right thing for me. There's nothing for me to really be depressed about, anymore. But all the same, I'm sorry for not replying. It's kind of rude of me.

And with that, I return to my boring, energized day! Hope yours is just as energized, but more eventful.

Breaking News

2007-01-14T14:09:00.000-08:00

Paul and I just did a major spring cleaning (either a few months early, or really, really late... take your pick). We re-arranged the basement into a pretty good configuration, then spent the past few days re-hooking electronics, organizing supplies, straightening papers, getting rid of old junk, and finding places to store, not stash, things. We still have a few things left to do... there are a couple of filing cabinets that need to be rid of all the junk they contain. Then, we might actually be able to use them to store important papers and such! Imagine that!

Christmas break went well. The first week was a bit slow; I didn't get some of the things done that I meant to. Well, I guess the only thing I didn't do was move the stuff in my apartment into storage, but I still have three months to do that. But either way, it was a pretty lazy week. Then that Friday night Paul and I went out to a movie, as a sort of last-night-together-for-a-few-days night. We saw the holiday date movie, The Holiday, which was very great and well-written. Then Paul departed for his parents' house Saturday night, and I left for my parents in the morning.

This year marked the first time I've ever slept in the living room on Christmas Eve. I may have been dreaming, but I think I saw Santa break into the slider door around midnight... Either way, Abby was ecstatic that Monday morning. But of course, Christmas is always amazing when you're three years old. The day brought holiday cheer and lots of fine foods. Good times all around!

A few days later I made my way up to the LAN party, already in progress. I pulled into town to find Drew, Tyler, Tyler's GF (sorry, I forgot her name...), Justin, Paul, Jim, and Ryan seated in a booth at the local Sherri's (aka Shelly's). It was quite a greeting. The LAN was tons o' fun, what with drinkin', movie-watchin', dancin' (thanks to me), Guitar Hero 2-in', oh, and of course, lots o' gamin'. Then we all brought the new year in with a countdown, champagne, yelling, cheering, leftover firecrackers, kissing, smoking, more cheering, hugs, and smiles.

Paul and I came back home a few days later, both exhausted and satisfied by our breaks. I must say, I definitely feel much more ready to go back to school this term than I did last term. Which is good, 'cause last term was absolutely awful for me. It wasn't really the classes that kicked my ass, so much as it was everything outside of school, and I mean everything. I couldn't catch a break last term. However, things are definitely looking up, and I'm feeling optimistic and tons more energetic. Woooo!! HAPPY 2007!!!!

HAPPY NEW DAY!

2007-01-08T19:52:00.001-08:00

Does anyone believe that the first day/week of classes sets the mode for the rest of your term? I hope that's how it works, 'cause I had a pretty good day. I had Environmental Graphic Design today, which seems like a class that could be a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to it, at this point. It seems like something that I could even be interested in as a career... who knows.

After class I swung by my apartment to grab my mail, and met my new "roommate." She seemed like a sweet girl, and I'm not entirely sure she was happy with the two girls she's now stuck living with. I don't blame her... they're a bit slobbish, from what I've gathered. I shouldn't be "living" there for too much longer; my lease is up in March, and I'll probably just move my junk up to Paul's parents' house for storage until we get our own place.

On the way home from my apartment, while turning onto the freeway on-ramp, I glanced into my rear-view mirror just in time to catch a jeep absolutely TEARING around the corner behind me. It drifted (Tokyo-style) around the corner, nearly toppling as it did so, then violently swerved several times in both the lanes behind me to regain control. It was too dark to see his face, but I wish I could have known if this maneuver ended up manifesting his joy, or his soiled pants...

I'd love to update you on my Winter break at this point, but at the moment I've a three-page paper to write, as well as a month of dinners to finish planning. You see, my New Year's Resolution was to get fit, which essentially means, for me, to gain some muscle mass. But I figured that before I can do anything, I should start eating right so I actually have the health/energy/nutrition to work out. On top of that, Paul decided he'd like to start eating right, so we decided on this decide-our-meals-in-advance system, so we know which foods to keep on hand, and so we can monitor what exactly it is we're eating, and make sure it's mostly things that are good for us. Maybe I'll post the calendar when I'm done with it, so you can use it... It'll be like you're eating dinner with us!

OH! One last thing... also on the way home, I heard a very fun new song, by none other than Modest Mouse! Apparently they have a new album coming out soon(ish) called We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank, and the song I heard was called Dashboard. Just thought I'd share the news.

Strawberry Neglectar Juice

2006-10-02T13:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, today is December 9th, 2006. I started to write a blog months ago, that was meant to catch you up to date on my life. However, there was so much to write about, it was more daunting than anything else, and I never felt up to the task of completing this chronicle. So, I'll post what I started to, then I'll add any more important events I can remember, and then I'll just move on from there. I must let go of the past in order to move forward, right? :) So without further adieu, here are the beginnings of the post I started months ago!

About that last post... it was the morning of my last day of classes. I had been up all night, and I had three Red Bulls and a banana in my tummy. I was feeling quite strange, and knew I had a very long day ahead of me. But the energy drinks and lack of food, that's where the 'puking' bit came in.

So, now we're back in School Season. I go back tomorrow. I have a morning class with Deny, who I haven't had a class with since my second term here. It's a class I hadn't been looking forward to, since when Paul and Ryan took it they had a different teacher and a crappy experience. We'll see how mine goes.

This break has been a blast! I'll do my best to tell you everything we did in these past two weeks, but I can't guarantee that I'll be able to cram it all into one post. It will just have to be a very brief overview of my recollection.

...

Okay, so I started this post on October 2nd. It's been a few days... Let me get back to what I started. Um... It's going to be a bit difficult to remember, but I'll do my best.

So, first of all, classes ended. So, I finished photographing events for TBA (all of which were really cool, by the way). The Monday after school was out, Paul and I went down to visit my parents and check out their new place. They found a 'cozy' little apartment in Corvallis, and they really like both the neighborhood and the town. I'm glad.

Then later that week, Paul and I saw "The Last Kiss" (starring Zach Braff), with Ryan and April. We liked it, and had a very cheerful and long relationship talk on the way home (that's the kind of conversation this movie is likely to inspire, though most likely not always the 'cheerful' kind).

One of the days that week we went hiking on Larch Mountain, which was great. It was a bit chilly and wet, but Paul gave me his rain gear (which was sweet) and we brought a packed lunch. It was nice, and we hiked down the mountain to Multnomah Stream (which feeds into the famous waterfall), then back up again.

Then for the weekend, we traveled up to Centralia to hang with Paul's family and friends. Friday night, we went to see Jackass 2, with Drew, Josh, Athena, and Dee. The movie was absolutely hilarious! I didn't think I'd enjoy it much, but I got a huge kick out of it. So did Paul's mom and sister, which kind of surprised me. The next night, we stayed in and relaxed. Josh brought over a movie called Kashern, which I loved. It was a, very cool, live-action anime film. Then Sunday we had planned on leaving, but decided to stay one more night. So we decided to see a movie at the Olympic Club, and dragged Drew with us. Um... let's see if I can remember the movie... something about a grass dog... Oh yeah! The Lady in the Water. I liked it. The dog creeped me out, though. Anyway, I had a beer and a Pink Floyd (it was very pineapple-y), Drew had a beer and a bunch of water, and Paul decided to have --

We bring you this interruption to announce a recently-transpired event: Callie just tackled Paul to pry candy from his death-gripping fingers, then he sat on her with his fat butt and crushed her. Now back to your regularly-scheduled bloggings.

Paul decided to have five Vodka Sours and three AMFs (they usually cut you off after two of these...). Needless to say, Paul was completely gone by the end of the night. It was hilarious, until he started puking when we got home. Poor guy. Then, the house gets a call at 8 in the morning-- Ron's been in a car accident, and has been admitted to Harborview Hospital, in Seattle (he works a night shift in Seattle, and commutes every night, so it wasn't strange that he should be admitted all the way up there). So we all piled in the car and spent the next twelve hours at the hospital, waiting to see if he would be released. He ended up with a broken foot, and was kept overnight, but he's otherwise okay.

The next day, Paul and I went back to Vancouver, received a phone call from David, regarding a trip to the beach.

--------------------------------------------------

Now back to what I can remember... I believe I was trying to eventually get at the fact that Paul and I went on a wonderful vacation, just the two of us. We went down to Newport, and stayed two nights at The Embarcadero, which I recommend if you should ever get the chance to go. It was super relaxing and a wonderful getaway, which was much-needed at the time.

Oh, also, the beach trip with David and Co.... we got out to the beach at night, built a bonfire, and had a lot of fun under the amazing starlit sky. Then we had some hot chocolate when we got back into town. Good times!

Anyway, here are some various pictures taken over the fall break. Enjoy!

The color and sponginess of various parts of the path on Larch Mountain.

The atmosphere of various parts of our Larch Mountain trek.

Paul's drunkenness and two of his empty glasses...

The hospital where we spent an entire day.

The benches in the smoking area of the hospital.

The view of Seattle when we left the hospital.

This is the bridge in Newport. The fog was strange; it usually didn't travel beyond the bluffs into the bay area, it just stayed collected on the coastal area.

This is the lighthouse of Newport, and the only lighthouse I have had the pleasure of visiting thus far.

These are the cute sea lions that we heard barking from our room all weekend, so we paid them a visit on the way out of town.

And now, I added a few bonus pictures. See, after our mini-vacation, Paul and I went up to Ellensburg, to visit several friends. The first night there, we all went out dancin', which was great. The second night there, we stayed in and drank, which was also fun. However, I had *quite* a bit, causing me to black out most of the night. I remember the beginnings of strip poker, and I know all but one person ended up naked (no, I was not the fortunate one). Anyway, the point of my story is this: while drunk, I was given a little shove. I did deserve it, since I was doing my best to pick on everyone. Anyway, the small shove completely threw me off balance, and somehow the weight of my whole body landed on my leg, which landed on a futon frame. I was left with this bruise, as a reminder of my stupidity. It stuck around for about 4 weeks...

Here's a detail view of the bruise.

And here's a look at how much of my leg it covered. It wasn't pleasant.

So there you have it. That was my last break. I'll get you caught up from there in a new post. And I'm sorry I've been neglecting for such a long time... I'll try to stay more current with this. :)

No sleep 'till...

2006-09-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

I feel like puking. :(

Busy Bee

2006-09-10T14:02:00.000-07:00

There's a lot going on right now! I'll start with the biggest news: My parents have left California and have moved up to Corvallis, Oregon! So, they'll be just over an hour away from me, now. I'm excited! I'm supposed to help them move, but if they move into their new apartment any sooner than Thursday, I probably won't be able to help them, due to this being Finals Week at school.

Next on the list, my recent goings-on. I've volunteered to be a photographer for PICA's art festival, TBA (Time-Based Art). So Friday night, at 10 pm, I went to see Shaky Hands, which was an awesome show. The music was a ton of fun to listen to.

Then Saturday night, at 11, I went to Dancepod. It was absolutely packed. The artist's statement was something like "I can't think of anything more honest to make than dancing with you." So a big white pod was erected in The Works (the building where these events have been taking place), dancing music was put on, and then it was just one gigantic dancing party. I didn't dance, but I think I had almost just as much fun watching everyone else dance. I've come to the conclusion that people, on the whole, are inherently bad dancers. It made the experience that much more humble, though. Oh, also, projected onto the pod was a list of "I fear..." and "I believe in...," and there was a computer off to the side, where you could type in your own answers to be projected.

Then last night, at 10 again, I went to an electro-operah put on by the very sexual group called Fleshtone. And wow... wow. It was amazing, and hilarious, and amazing... Hah, the best part... The main girl came out onto stage, looking all sleepy like she had just waken up, and then started rubbing her tummy like she was hungry, then she sat on the ground. Then, this gigantic waffle with butter on it came dancing out... and it was naked. It was a waffle with a penis, and it was hilarious. Then the girl hopped up, so excited, and danced around the waffle and took bites out of it while she was dancing with it. Sooooo funny! And then a sausage with boobs came out, and a box of juice, again with a penis. Hah, it was great.

So yeah, that's pretty much been my weekend. I can't really remember if I've done anything during the daytimes... Well, yesterday Paul and I went over to Ryan and April's house to do some homework... and then April made us fajitas for dinner! Mmm, they were so tasty.

Oh, and on Friday afternoon, I was sort of recovering from a hangover... I went to the birthday party of a friend I haven't seen in about a year or so, on Thursday night. My friend Tahni turned 22, and so there was surprise party for her down in West Lynn. But I was directed to the wrong bar, so I was about an hour late... all the while drinking Vodka Sours at the bar I had been waiting at. So, needless to say, I finally arrived at the party pretty late, and pretty drunk. Tahni was happy to see me, though! And I was happy to see her.

Oh, I almost forgot... Saturday night (Dancepod), I got to wear my new cute brown dress, 'cause Paul made me. I don't have any shoes to go with it, though, so I wore my green converse (heh heh). I don't think it looked bad, and I felt like I fit in with the arty crowd at the PICA event. But anyway, I felt very pretty wearing it. Paul took pictures of me when I got home, and I'm putting them on my Flickr account so you can see. They only look okay in black+white, though, because the light was way too red to repair in Photoshop.

But, now, I must get back to the stack of homework, for there is very much in my In box, and very little in my Out box.

Hopefully, more bloggerific goodness to come soon.

Bridges of Multnomah County

2006-08-20T21:24:00.000-07:00

So as it turns out, Snakes on a Plane was an awesomely entertaining movie, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. And hanging out with Clint was wonderful! It was a great night, all around.

Yesterday, I went to go watch Paul play hockey with Ryan and his friends, out in Gresham. There's this old abandoned outdoors rollerhockey rink, so every Saturday (if plans go well) everyone gets together to go play for a couple of hours. Paul's gotten hurt every time he's gone so far, but he has so much fun he keeps going back for more. This time I wasn't the only one watching from the stands; April was there, too. I haven't seen her in a while, so that was pretty cool.

However, instead of going and sitting in the shade with her (which was the smart thing to do), I decided to stay in the sun so I could get a bit of color. But the color turned out a bit red. :(

Today was fun; Paul went out of town yesterday afternoon, just after hockey, so I had the rest of yesterday and all of today to myself. I honestly have no idea what I did after Paul left yesterday. He left at four, and it wasn't until ten that I realized that the day was gone and I hadn't accomplished anything. Woops... So today I decided to be semi-productive. I went out at noon to downtown Portland, and took 129 pictures (filled my memory card) in two hours, all of the bridges. I got more sunburned. But that's okay, I loved my afternoon! I saw the middle through the end of about fifty people swimming across the Willamette; I saw a lone, forgotten book underneath a park bench; I saw two people being led by two other people, one of which was reciting a poem, the other was playing guitar; I saw a ton of dads riding bikes with their daughters. It was a great day.

AAAAAhhhhhhhhh!!!! no way!!!

2006-08-18T19:27:00.000-07:00

Paul's dragging me to go see Snakes on a Plane in about an hour. I'm not terribly enthused (sorry...). But he told me to go call and invite Clint to go with us, since Clint's been trying to hang out with us, and we haven't had a chance to get together yet. So I called him, and now Clint's up here, eatin' an enchalada, hangin' out with us!

Guess who got tickets to go see RATATAT???

2006-08-17T21:51:00.000-07:00

That's right, the guy next door!

...just kidding.......

I DIDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

eviction of the brain

2006-08-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

I feel melancholy, apathetic and generally caught in the doldrums at the moment. I think this post is probably meant for my public blog, and not my private one. So I think I'll post it there. Anyhow, I'm not quite sure how I got in this funk. But the song I'm listening to currently, Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah, is cementing the mood. Oh, now it's Bright Eyes' Lua. Much better (/sarcasm)...

I keep finding remnants of the night I drank nearly a full bottle of wine (a big bottle, not regular-sized). I've found a few conversations and blogs I don't entirely remember doing, but I'm sure it was me. My sincere apologies to those I bugged and may have hurt. Way too much wine. And unfortunately, I don't think Paul will let me buy another bottle anytime soon...

I should be doing homework. Paul and I are going up to Centralia tomorrow morning. There's a family reunion on the Thomas side of Paul's family, and my presence is requested by his father, for getting to know the people I could one day be bound to the tree with. We have to be there at nine, so we (I) should probably wake up at around 6-6:30-ish. And it's nearly 11 now. And I'm not sleepy. Well, maybe a little...

I'm charging my camera batteries, because I need to get in the habit of actually using my camera when I take it everywhere with me. I've already missed two great photo opportunities this weekend (the beach with my family, and Potholes with my friends), and I'm super-bummed about both of them. I need to be making lots (hundreds) of photographs for my Advanced Image Manipulation class, and I currently have about thirty. Whoops...

I think I've found the source of my current mood. There's a being in the room that seems to be draining all the energy and life out of the situation. It does that fairly regularly... I don't think this regular exercise is a particularly helpful mechanism, but maybe there's something going on behind the scenes that I'm not quite understanding. Ugh.

I'm listening to a delightful song now, and it could just lift my spirits a bit! Hah, it's great. It's by The Boy Least Likely To, and the name of the song is I'm glad I hitched my apple wagon to your star. Oh, now there's flute, or pan pipes, or something. How happy. It sounds like something that would be sung out in a sunny field by little girls holding hands and skipping in a circle.

I think I should try to get some sleep now. Goodnight, all, and have sweet dreams!

Currently feeling awesomely productive...

2006-08-11T20:49:00.000-07:00

...and not putting it to any good uses. I just ran for a full 21 minutes... putting me at a mile-and-a-half without stopping. I know this is a really bad time, but I ran very slow on purpose. A couple weeks ago, Meggan directed me to this site, which makes it sound very easy to get the exercise I want and need. So I finally gave it a shot, and I feel great right now! Woo (I haven't gone running in about a month or so)!

Also, I went swimming today. Ryan told us about these two places in Lacamas that are excellent for swimming; one place has a rope swing and deep water for jumping into, the other has big rocks and deep water for jumping into (that one's called Potholes, for the many holes the water has carved into the rocks). Anyway, it was a blast. I wasn't really in a "jump off these rocks and cliffs into water" kind of mood when we first got there, but I warmed up to it eventually and ended up having a great time. Unfortunately, however, I neglected to take any pictures, even though I brought my camera.

I suppose you could call "posting a blog" a good use of my productive mood, especially since I promised I would post more often, and I let it go another few weeks with nothing to speak of. I'm also thinking of uploading some pictures I took when we went camping last month (since I ran out of free space for the month of June on my Flickr account, and haven't been able to share them with anyone because of it). But, there are also more productive things I could be doing, such as starting on the mountain of homework I need to do for this next week. I'm going to be sooo busy this weekend. I should make a quick list, so I have things fresh in my head...

complete home page for personal portfolio site, as well as make starts on other pages
research historical or contemporary illustrator, put together presentation and then emulate style in my own illustration
take-home midterm for C.S.I., which entails a ton of writing, research and probably collaboration
do a couple quick "excercises" for adv. image manip. and burn them all onto one cd, along with my midterm project files

my midterm project, which I got to choose myself, was to restore and colorize an old black+white photograph, probably made in the late 1800s. I worked on it for two-and-a-half days, totalling approximately 20+ hours of work. Bleh.

I thiiiiiiink that's it... I hope so, anyway. This is going to take a ton of time, as it is.

Damn this blasted chair, and its sinking tendancies!!

I saw my parents yesterday/today. They actually came to Oregon for a change. But they didn't come up to see me, they actually came up to look for a new place to live, on the coast. It was great to see them. I haven't seen them since New Year's morning, and I haven't talked to them since July 2, until this last Monday, when they told me they were leaving that afternoon to work their way up the coast. Abby is getting so big! She's three years old now. She comes up to my belly-button, and she's cuter than ever. She can hold a conversation with you, and she has interests in things (flowers, seashells, horses, etc.). A regular little person. I love her! Anyway, I drove out to meet them just north of Tillamook, and I stayed the night at their motel room on the beach. It was so good to see them. I'm happy.

Well, my energy has sufficiently wound down... I think if I'm still going to put up those camping pictures I should get started, 'cause I'm pretty sleepy. Motel beds suck for sleeping in.

Hello. This is a blog.

2006-07-29T21:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, here's the deal. The reason I've been neglecting my blog for nearly a month is the daunting fact that so much has happened and I haven't given my account of any of it. So I keep thinking I'm going to do this big post where I try to recall and write about all the things that I've done and that have happened to me, and then I realize I don't have the energy for that large of a post, and it just doesn't happen. I've started several times, always with the same outcome.

So I've decided on a compromise (sort of). I'll pick up with my blogging again, right now, as if nothing at all has happened to me in the past four weeks, and if there's an event I need to recall for reasons pertaining to current events, I'll give a brief recollection so we're on the same page. Deal? Okay.

So. Currently. My classes this term (a good place to start, I feel, since I'm working on homework for them at the moment) are Web Design for Graphic Design II, Advanced Image Manipulation, Crime Scene Investigation, and Advanced Illustration. In Web Design, I get to build a portfolio site for myself, which I'm kind of excited about (although I'm sure it's going to be a lot of work). Image Manip. is pretty cool, since the teacher is pretty laid back with a good sense of humor. Illustration is kind of neat, too, but we have to do an illustration every week, and I'm not used to making all sorts of art stuffs at a fairly quick pace. This week, we have to come up with something illustrating the concept "Tragedy at the zoo." Paul's got a few ideas out, and I'm still dry...

It's been an interesting weekend. Paul's family (cousin, cousin's daughter, other cousin's husband, aunt and uncle) are down in Vancouver, staying at our house, because "other cousin" hit her head on the bottom of a pool and broke her neck. She's okay, not paralyzed or dead, but she's getting spinal surgery tomorrow morning. I saw her this afternoon; she was coherent, but it was painful to look at. She has bolts in her head and a neck brace to keep her from moving her head at all. She can't entirely move her right arm, but she can move it some; when it first happened she couldn't move it at all. But yes, it's been a bit loud and a bit busy down here in the basement, since "cousin" and "cousin's daughter" (mainly "cousin's daughter," age 8) are down here fairly often, visiting with us. We haven't gotten a ton of homework done this weekend.

I have to say, I do feel much better that I'm finally getting a blog completed. I think I'll have a much easier time keeping it current, since I'm not dreading doing a huge update. Sorry, I'm kind of lazy sometimes (oftentimes...).

I want a Mac. Just to let you know. That would be awesome.

I AM SOOOO BORED!!!

2006-07-01T23:21:00.000-07:00

Holy crap!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES!!!!!

2006-06-26T16:52:00.000-07:00

My little brother turns nineteen today. This is weird for me. In fact, every one of his birthdays since he turned sixteen has been weird for me. I think it's weird because I haven't lived with him since we were younger, since I was eighteen. It's strange to think of him getting older, without actually seeing him do it. I don't know.

WHY

2006-06-26T01:41:00.000-07:00

am I listening to Brian Eno at 1:41 in the morning?!

Wee lad of a post

2006-06-24T23:54:00.000-07:00

I have a headache right now. Bleh. I think I'm really dehydrated, and have been for the past few days. I've been eating crappy food, LAN-ing, barely sleeping, drinking alcohol, drinking soda... all without much water. I think I'll start trying to keep on top of that...

I have to go to Portland tomorrow. I'm not really looking forward to the drive, especially since I've been around people constantly for the whole week. I enjoy it, and it's going to be extra silent once I get back down to Vancouver.

[/yawn]

2006-06-24T01:19:00.000-07:00

It's been a while; sorry. I'll give you an abridged version of my past two weeks:

Paul's birthday was fun. We went out at midnight that night to Joe's Cellar, where it was Paul, Ryan, James + Steph, Drew, Sam, two other guys, and me. It was good times... Paul was fed many shots containing many different kinds of alcohol. Long story short, he threw up as soon as we got in the car, then spent an hour in the bathroom that night. He tried to convince me to bring him a blanket and let him sleep in the bathroom...

Next day was bright and early for Centralia-bound fun. We were at his parents' most of the day, then we went out for the "Tower Street Crawl," which is the street in Centralia where most of the bars are downtown. A bunch of us moved from bar to bar that night (I was DD again, so I watched everyone else get drunk, again). It was a lot of fun. Happy birthday for Paul!!

Hmm... what next... Oh yeah, finals. I only had three, so that wasn't too worrisome. I passed, passed, and passed! Done on Tuesday afternoon. W00t! Then Paul, Ryan and I went out to Boss Hawg's, Cheers, and Joe's Cellar. I got smashed on Vodka Sours and Whiskey Sours. Woo, end of finals!!

Oh! Oh jeeze, I nearly forgot the glory of Monday evening, finals week. Paul and Ryan had rented some costumes for a photoshoot for a school project. Bunny costumes. Heh... the shoot itself was much fun. I was a thin white bunny, and Paul was a frumpy brown bunny. Two costumes, Paul's and my humor, and endless "furry" possibilities. The project was on the fetish of Furries, which is that of pretending to be an animal for sexual pleasure (that's the gist of it, anyway). Fun times. Anyway, we needed carrots for the shoot, which we had none of at the house. Sooooo.... I insisted that the only way we could go by carrots was if one of the rabbits walked into the store to pay for them. So I did it. Walked into the store, picked up some carrots, and went through the checkout. I got confused/amused looks from people all over the store, high scrutiny from the manager, and pure joy from children (along with paranoia from their parents). Oh, and photo documentation of the event. It was glorious. Heh heh.

Let's see... next comes summer break. It was pretty uneventful for the beginning of it; Paul went up to Centralia, while I stayed in Vancouver so I could go to my internship on Monday. I was bored out of my mind every single day. Then I drove up on Monday evening. And got a speeding ticket. My first one. I'm pissed. I had a clean record, and now I owe $122 for driving 75 in a 60 zone. Fuck that.

Anyway, after that I went with Paul over to Drew's house, where there'd been a crazy LAN party going on, with all the guys. I joined it; I set up a trial World of Warcraft account, and now I'm a level 12 gnome mage. It was pretty boring for most of the week. I spent the first day of summer, one of my favorite days of the year, sitting inside all day. LAAAAAAME! Oh well. I had gotten two-and-a-half hours of sleep the night before that, was up all day, then went to bed late that night. So I slept until noon, and Paul slept pretty much all day. That was yesterday.

Then last night we went to the Penny Park in Chehalis, where we all played tag and frisbee until we were exhausted. My knees and elbows are skinned and bruised-- I feel like I was six years old again for a few hours (until I got totally smashed on Tic Tacs-- vodka, orange juice and Red bull). Today we went to Black lake, about 20 miles north of Centralia, where we swam and sunned until we were exhausted. Paul has an AWESOME sunburn; the front of him is roasted beet red, while the rest of him remains pale as winter snow. I was the only one who put on sun lotion, so I'm the only one who didn't get burned. Except for my back, which I couldn't reach. There's a pretty awesome and definite line of where the lotion stopped on my skin. We're going to the lake again tomorrow, since a few people couldn't make it today due to work (crazy people with jobs...).

I've been working on a project (somewhat) at Paul's parents' house; it's a wood shelf the size of the garage wall. Paul was working on it, and screwing up and getting frustrated, when I came in to see what he was up to. I offered a helping hand, and he gave me the project. And I looooove it! I haven't gotten to do any woodworking since I was in high school, and it's one of my most favorite things to do. I'm measuring, and sawing, and nailing, and getting things to fit together perfectly... it is soooo satisfying. Woo hoo.

So yeah. That's been the past couple of weeks. Not terribly eventful, but there are a few fun things thrown in there. I'm really, really tired though. I haven't been getting much sleep, I'm tired from swimming and the sun, I've been staring at the compys and lappys playing WOW for hours and hours this week, and I'm a little burned out on being indoors almost constantly (you have no idea how happy I was about going to the lake, and then learning that we're going back the next day).

In the days to come, I'll be working on a poster for Entercom, then I'll be finishing my internship on Monday morning (which means I need to go to Portland on Sunday). I have another internship next term, and I'm planning on trying to go to Portland Monthly. Wish me luck! It sounds like fun.

Okay, bleh. I'm done now. Maybe I'll sleep. Or something (I probably won't...).

Passing time

2006-06-09T19:15:00.000-07:00

There are five hours left until we go out for Paul's Twenty-first Birthday. I am soooo bored in the meantime. I have plenty of homework I could be doing, but [insert excuse here].

I talked to my mom today. She called me this morning and we talked for almost an hour. Which is great. I haven't talked to her since Mothers' Day, and that was only for maybe five minutes because she was so busy. Then about an hour ago I called my sister, Laurie. We talked for a while, too. I loved it. Oh, and she told me it was Jordan's birthday (my youngest niece) so I tried to call Wendy (my sister, Jordan's mom) but by then it was already 10 over there and they're probably already in bed.

I had some very strange dreams last night. I'd tell you about them, but I don't think they would mean anything to you. I think they're the kind of dreams that are only strange to the person who dreamt them, because of personal significance.

The day before yesterday (I think... maybe it was the day before that) I ran 3/4 of a mile without stopping. I can't remember if I could ever do that in high school (my guess is no), but I know I haven't been able to do it since then. So, I was pretty proud of myself. And then I ran for most of the way back home. I'm still a little sore from it, though. Oh well. Maybe I'll go again before it gets dark tonight. And I'll get Paul to go with me.

I didn't go to class today. I did laundry and cleaned the house instead. Which was probably a lot more work than what class would have entailed.

AIGA's tshirt sale was a success this term. We sold more shirts than last term, but made about the same amount of profit, since we spent more money on set-up this time (screens, shirts, etc.) I don't have any pictures of this term's sale, but I could post some from last term, just for the heck of it. Like I said, I'm bored and need to pass the time (damnit, this post has only taken up about ten minutes...) Oh, but I have to resize the pictures first. That should take up some more time. Woo.

Okay, it's been 25 minutes. Here are the pictures! Woooooo.......

Our inventory...

One of the shirt designs...

Another one (this one's designed by me!)...

Yet another (designed by Paul, it's a picture of Ryan)...

And one more (also by me).

This was on the back of all the shirts, promoting our cause, of course.

The printing press and screensOur president. :D

The profits!

Well, that's it. It's now a quarter after 8... which means just under four hours left until Paul's birthday. Four hours... ... ... ...

He just put on Death Cab for Cutie's album Transatlanticism, which I haven't listened to in quite a while. I love it. And it sort of has significance for Paul and I. It also inspires so many different emotions (hence it being "emo," duh), depending on the mood you're in when you start to play it.

tick tock

tick tock...

*I need you so much closer...*

8:19

8:20

tick tock

My voice, the Actress

2006-06-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I end up staring at myself in the mirror, and if I stare for a little while, I don't recognize myself. On some of these days, I'm thinking, "Damn, is that me? I need sleep, or food, or exersice or something, because I seriously look like hell. Wow." And then I have those other days, when I look in the mirror and think "Damn, is that me? I need to be a freaking underwear model or a supermodel or something, because I seriously look damn good. Wow." Today is one of the good days. I'm sure everyone has both days.

This morning was fun. Waking up was really weird, because I would wake up, look at the clock, fall back into a deep sleep, wake up again, and only five minutes would have passed. I had to stay on top of the clock, though, because I had a feeling Paul didn't set the alarm at the time I wanted (and I was right), and he was sleeping on the couch instead of writing his paper. So I was super sleepy (two nights in a row of 6 hours of sleep, when I'm coming down with a cold and I'm stressed) when I got up, but when I looked in the mirror my hair was perfect, so I didn't bother with a shower. I just shaved my legs, did my makeup, and got dressed. When I got home from work I took an hour-long nap, and when I woke up I knew the meaning of beauty-sleep; I felt like I was looking even better than I did that morning.

Anyway, the reason this morning was fun, was because I got to do some job-shadowing, and some voice-acting. I got to work at 9 am, like I was supposed to, but ended up having to wait for the other voice actor for about 50 minutes. Anyway, we recorded our commercial one voice at a time. It was weird, because I was reacting to a voice or a person that I wasn't actually hearing. It was really fun, though. Then Doug showed us where all the sound effects come from. There's this huge book, about as big as a phone book, filled with the names of almost every sound you could imagine. So we picked up some Office Ambience, a Corrola motor sound, and some other things we needed. Then Doug showed us how to edit sound. He likened it to video editing, but that didn't help since I've never done/seen video editing. I have, however, seen sound editing before. It was still neat, though.

Anyway, Nick (another one of the interns, and one of my voice-acting partners) had to leave at 11, so he took off. I, however, stayed and watched Doug at work. In the time I was there, he edited and sent a radio commercial, wrote a couple other commercials, had several meetings with people including meeting with a part-time worker/giving him going-away gifts (there were about seven or eight people crammed into Doug's tiny, tiny office for this), and had a creative brainstorming session with a few people (while informing me that I was going to be working on that project very soon). Keith, my other boss, also helped on the voice acting, but he also attended 5 meetings in the three-and-a-half hours I was there, and still had one more later that day. Wow. What a busy, busy place Entercom is. I got to meet a bunch of other people that worked there, though I couldn't tell you anybody's name now. Doug told me it's that busy every single day. Oh yeah, he also is flying to New Jersey (?) tomorrow because he's a finalist in an annual competition for one of the radio commercials he's written.

Oh, one more thing he told me: he's met both Busta Rhymes and Snoop Dog. He said they're both cool, and Snoop is a pretty funny guy. Oh yeah, and he has a friend who is a creative director at Weiden + Kennedy. I am amazed at this guy's life.

Now I have a long list of stuff to do, which can be found under question 13 on my myspace blog "I'm powing through these things..."

A Brief Intermission

2006-05-31T00:50:00.000-07:00

Turns out my boss is fucking active as hell. He's won a ton of awards, mostly for radio ad copywriting, he serves on two judge panels for advertising- one regional, one international (on the same panel as Steve Sandstrom, of Sandstrom Design!), he goes golfing, he playes Lacrosse, he travels across the country, he's the Creative Director of a company that owns/operates seven radio stations, and then he gets all excited at my mention and explaination of Frisbee Golf, becausae of the prospect of gaining a new hobby. Who the hell is this guy??

I got all excited at work today. Doug and Keith (my bosses) asked what other work I'd like to be doing for them. I said posters would be fun, so they figured out what posters needed to be done, so I can do them. Doug told me he wasn't going to tell me what he had in mind, because he wanted me to just run with whatever I wanted. So I mentioned Jeff Kliensmith and Jesse LeDeux. Aawww yeahhh. So they pulled up Patent Pending and loved what they saw. So now that's my direction. I'm probably going majorly stress out about this, because I'm now trying to emulate my favorite designers, and it's scary because I don't think I can do them any justice. But I'm still super excited.

Oh, also... I get to do some voice acting. Which is also very exciting! I get to play a bubbly, 20-year-old fast food worker, who's happy to be out in the job world. Woooo!

So my weekend was great. Lucas and Drew stayed until Sunday afternoon. Saturday rocked. We went up to Big 5 and picked up some frisbee golf disks, even though it was all rainy. It took forever to find Pier Park, the course we were going to, but we found it eventually (after going through some part of Portland I didn't even know existed... corporate parks and such...). Pier Park is awesome. It's a huge course, with 18 holes and trees everywhere. AND, there are two huge swingsets placed strategically at the half-way point in the course. So guess what we did? Of course. We swung on the swings, and had a blast. Paul decided to steal my swing from me, then jump off while he was swinging, onto the muddy slope below. He fell in the mud, of course. Served him right. And he was trying to get his balance to get up, and slipped back into the mud. Hehehe! It was great.

I started this post this evening, at about 8 or so... then Paul and I went to Meggan and Daniel's house when he got out of class. It was nice, we don't hang out with them as much as last term, which is sad. We always have a good time when we see them.

I just downloaded a bunch of ELO and Yes. Wooo! I'm going to bed now. We might go Frolfing again tomorrow! Yay!

Friiiiday Niiiiiiiight!! Woooooo! (/sarcasm)

2006-05-27T00:23:00.000-07:00

Lucas and Drew came down this evening, and they're staying with us tonight and tomorrow night. Yaaay! We still need to clear off the spare bed, which is covered with two feet of clothes and other things we have stored away.

Side, unrelated note: Any single (or not single, whatever), decent-looking chicks should leave me a resume for my friend. He's lonely.

Man, I'm sleepy. This is the first night in a while that Paul and I have stayed up past midnight. It's already a quarter-to-one. Hmmmmm....

Well, I filled out papers today to take an incomplete on my internship.

You know, I feel really, really weird posting things about my personal, everyday life on here. Like just now, with the internship thing. I think it's because I'm aware that people read it now. Before, it wasn't so bad. I figured, "either people are reading it, or else they aren't. No big deal. This is just what's going on in my life." But now, it's more like I'm talking to an audience. And if I can't even do that in real life, what about the internet would make it very much easier? There isn't anonomity. It's only a tiny bit easier, since I can compose my thoughts a little more, and monitor and edit what I'm saying or thinking.

I just got slapped in the face with hot dogs. Ew. And apparently, according to my friends/boyfriend, it made me douch-y and caused an out-of-body experience.

What a choppy blog. I can't continue a thought. Everything is broken up. I am a robot. This is how I talk. One two three four five. I'm going to bed. Goodnight on a stick.

Paul's complaining about my complaining about him. Psssshhhh..........

Can I steal you for a minute? Can I steal you?

2006-05-26T23:54:00.000-07:00

You wanna know the real reason I don't want to watch your stupid comedy show? Because I'm jealous. You have a crush on her, and it makes me jealous, 'cause she's cooler than I am. You say it's 'cause she's hot, but I don't think that's it. I know you like her more than me. I'm not as funny as she is. So I don't watch. I just sit at my computer, and feel bad that you're staring at her for an hour, and laughing at all her jokes.

Bleh.

Dream, Interrupted

2006-05-24T12:37:00.000-07:00

I deeply value the days I get to sleep until I don't want to sleep anymore. Especially when Paul SETS A FUCKING ALARM ON YOUR SLEEPING-IN DAYS!. Apparently he doesn't understand that you can wake up naturally, especially when you get to bed at an early or decent hour the night before. Bah.

I'm gunna go do some homework now.

PS I'm not in a bad mood, although none of my recent posts have indicated otherwise. I think it's good to be me.

I'm looking at things around the room, trying to come up with a decent title. I give up.

2006-05-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

Wow, serious lack of blogging-motivation going down. I didn't mean to leave you with all these dissatisfactory quickies lately, but honestly, it's all I've had in me.

So how many of you got my pun in the title of the last post? Be honest, it's okay if you didn't. Stale Cheery-o's... eh?? Ehhhh???? I know, it was vague and lame anyway.

Wow, I started this post maybe an hour ago. See?! Blogger-apathy. I've got it bad.

I can't believe it's already ten o'clock. At this time last night, we were in Centralia. Getting plizzowed. Well, everyone but me. Paul named me the Designated Driver. He designated me. Psssssshhhhhhhhh..... It's okay though; I had a blast! Last night was soooo much fun. It was Justin's "Welcome Home!" party. He's been in Europe for the past five months, studying abroad. And now he's back, at least for the time-being. And so I watched everyone get drunk, and I stayed just as silly as the rest of them (in my opinion). There was even Absinthe and Chartreuse and Sheesha. Justin brought back culture with him ( heh heh). Oh man, the sheesha was soooooo good; it was vanilla-peach (it was mixed). Yummm.

Anyway, I did a great job as DD. I stayed 100% sober, except for at the very beginning of the night when I had a half-glass of white wine, and a taste of a shot of Chartreuse. I got more on my lips than in my mouth... man it burned! Soo warm. Very tasty, though.

Ugh. Last night was a blast. To think I considered not going! Jeeze.

I just finished polishing my nails. I didn't paint them, I polished them. They're so shiny! And smooth!! I love them.

I don't know. I guess that's all I really have to talk about. I'll try again in a couple days, when more stuff happens to me.

Stale Cheerios

2006-05-16T11:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I hate my life.

I crushed my face.

2006-05-13T20:08:00.000-07:00

I landed on it when I fell. I fell when I was chasing the ball away from Clint, and he side-slid into my feet when we were both traveling at high speeds. I was chasing the ball away from Clint, because we were doing "passing drills" with a soccer ball in a soccer field. We were playing soccer in a field because we were drunk. We were drunk because we were at a party. The party was for Athena's Birthday, for dancing, for eating, and for drinking. Dance parties are spontaneous occurrences. That's probably why nobody danced last night. It was a planned event. All around good times, though!

*Clint, I'm not mad. Honestly. I thought it was fun!

We have new mice!

2006-05-10T16:47:00.000-07:00

For our snakes to eat. You know, because, what else are mice for?

There are ten empty Heiniken bottles sitting on the coffee table...

2006-05-09T19:01:00.000-07:00

I went for a run this afternoon. It's a beautiful day for it! I hope that this past weekend's rain washed away some of the pollen, so that you people with allergies can enjoy the weather properly. Paul and I have been running fairly regularly; about once every three or four days. Not too bad, but the goal, my goal at least, is to go every other day. And I'm getting better at it, too! I'm progressively able to run further without stopping. I'd say I'm up to just over a quarter-mile nonstop on the first jaunt. Go me.

Another healthy issue: I've decided to completely stop smoking. See, Paul and I "quit" about three weeks ago, along with a friend. However, Paul and our friend didn't do a very good job of quitting before even a week was up, and I caved when I was drunk on my birthday. Since then, we haven't done a great job at staying away from cigarettes. Our friend even told me to throw his pack away, and still he goes back to buy more cigarettes. Paul bought a pack the day before yesterday.

Now, here's the difference between me quitting the first time, and me quitting this time. The first time, it was a pact, and a way to help each other out. So when the other two counterparts to the pact failed, and refused to listen to me or let me help them, I became disheartened and decided I missed smoking. However, this second time, it's different because I'm quitting completely of my own independent decision. When I smoked two years ago, I had absolutely no problem quitting then, because I was the only one doing it, and all I had to do was stop buying them. But now, since Paul and I sort of started together, and it's been so much more of a social thing and a pass-the-time habit between the three of us, there are always cigarettes around. And personally, I think this other friend began the downfall after the pact, since he caved first then offered Paul cigarettes, which tempted him to cave. But I digress. I'm quitting, and that's the final word. I'm good at quitting things.

Oh, I just bought a new hair dryer. A couple of weeks ago (it may have even been last week-- I don't know), I was using my little yellow space-blaster hair dryer. You could only turn this thing on high, low, or off. Actually, back up a few more weeks, to our spring break trip to Canada. This thing had been acting kind of weird; I always used it on the "high" setting, but it had been sort of-- lacking power, we'll say. It would rev down a few seconds, then go back to normal speed/hi-pitched-sound. But one night when I was getting ready to go into Nelson with everyone, the high speed just stopped working. It revved down to "low" mode (slightly lower-pitched sound) and never turned up to high mode, ever again.

Okay, skip back forward. Last week-ish, I was using the blow dryer on the low setting, as I had gotten used to doing since the power-down incident. Everything was going normally, and I glanced in the mirror on my left (in our bathroom, there's a mirror over the sink as well as a medicine cabinet mirror on the right wall when you face the sink; I was facing the cabinet). I happened to notice casually that the tip of the inside of my blowdryer was glowing yellow-white, much like a flashlight, then continued drying my hair for a few more fractions of a second before realizing that hey, it shouldn't be doing that, I might be in danger right now... I yelled "oh shit" and before I could turn off the dryer, or reach for the plug it just popped, something flew out, and it turned off. And it never turned on again.

So anyway, yeah. I bought a new hair dryer. Those things are getting kind of complicated; they have those "ion" dryers, but I'm not really sure what they do. I got one anyway. I was enticed mostly by the packaging of this one (and also by the fact that I can turn up the speed and temperature separately from one another). It reminded me of the packaging for an Ipod, simply because it seems overly complicated (don't get me wrong though, I love the Ipod packaging) and unique. It's a trapezoidal shape (oh, the blowdryer is Revlon Glamorous Styles, btw), and it's red, with little black shoe-string-type handles coming out of the top. I just opened it up, and there's an outer shell for the package with all the information on it. But the inner, box portion of the package is just plain and red, with no writing on it. Then you untie it at the top, and your product is in a bag, inside. Nothing more, nothing less. Elegant and reusable. I liked it.

Oh, one more thing that happened today: I went to Jack in the Box for lunch, and this boy (fairly cute, but most likely still in high school) totally had the hots for me. He was trying his best not to have a huge smile, and not doing a very good job. Hehe, I played the "cool, collected, in-control college chick" card and he could barely concentrate on his job and his friends in the back. It was so much fun. ^.^ Heehee...

Homemade Sleeping Pills

2006-05-08T23:16:00.000-07:00

1 part Bleach
2 parts Clorox

Mix together to create a paste; form into pill-shaped balls. Let harden. Eat. Sleep a long time. Enjoy!

It has come to my attention that SOME of you are only reading half of my blogs. This is not acceptable. Either you read the whole thing, or else you're not reading it at all. That's the rules. Paul, for example, doesn't read my blog at all. This is perfectly acceptable. Others read all of every post. This, also, is perfectly acceptable. But half? You read only half of a blog post?!? I'm sorry, this just isn't computing. You can't do that.

Paul is currently watching six episodes of The Simpsons at the same time. He's giggling and saying it's "so cool." I think it's freaking me out.

It's always a pleasant surprise when I sit in my chair and find it at the exact height I need it to be.

It has just come to my attention that ammonia may be the perfect ingredient missing from my homemade sleeping pills!

I went to my internship meeting this morning to find that they loved the website homepage I mocked up for them. Woo! What fun. The first thing I make for a real company is well-recieved! Yay. Then they took us interns on a tour of the building. That was pretty cool. I met Jaime Cooley, and saw all the tons and tons of databank computers, and went into the recording studio, and even into the DJ booths! Actually, we went in to the Charlie FM booth, and it was empty. You know why?? 'Cause Charlie FM doesn't have any DJ's! Duh. Well, I thought it was cool, anyway.

To those of you who stuck around to finish reading this post, just so you know, I really am grateful. Really. I appreciate anyone who takes precious time out of their day, just to read some of the details from my boring life. I <3 you!

And so my misdirection is...?

2006-05-06T19:12:00.000-07:00

Paul and I just learned that I'm retarded. I was doing some quick equations, and got every step wrong. He told me I should go back to a math class, and I said I could do algebra. He asked me to solve x+7=11. An easy one. I got it wrong... The answer is 4, not 6 (oops...).

"My girlfriend is retarded!" Paul sulked.
"Yeah, but nobody knows it..." I offered. "It's sort of like when no one realized Charlize Theron was retarded on Arrested Development, because she was so cute."
"Well, it's sort of like that. Except you don't have the 'cute' factor working for you."

Aww... sucks for me.

In other news, we went to go see Silent Hill last night. What a creepy movie! Holy crap. Creepy. But good; Paul and I both liked it. But it was really creepy. Ew.

And in still other news, I'm uploading a bunch of new photos on Flickr, since it's a new month and I have more space to do so.

And in yet other news still, I did manual labor today! Wooooo! Shovelin' dirt and sheeit. Good times! I haven't done yard work since I lived with my parents. I kinda miss it...

May the Fourth be with you (aka How I Spent My Summer Vacation)

2006-05-04T21:59:00.000-07:00

Lemme tell you'bout my birthday, and how great it was. Ready? Okay.

I woke up on time, ready to go running like Paul promised we would. He, however, didn't get up until way, way later. When he finally did, we went running. Then he made me breakfast! Pancakes, eggs and sausage. Yummy! Then I called a bunch of people, trying to organize everything. Then it was time for some homework, and before I knew it, it was 4:00. So, Paul took me to Red Robin, so I could get one of those "pretty" drinks. I got a Tropical Mai Tai (ooooh), and I took a picture.

So, that was my drink. Then the waiters and waitresses brought me balloons and stuck them behind my ears, while they sang at me and shoved a sundae in my face. It was fun!

Then Paul and I left to go to The Edgefeild. We were apparently the last ones to show up, since we found everyone hanging out already. So we rented our clubs, paid for our ways, and bought our drinks, and took off for the green. There were ten of us. A very large group to take golfing. But we did it anyway! They made me go first the first few holes (probably until I started getting a bit tipsy). And it turns out, I was the worst one. I was even worse than the people who had never picked up a golf club before. Haha, go me! Man-o-man...

So, we didn't keep score. But I'm sure one of the two guys who brought their own clubs did the best. Damn fancy-pants'. Anyway, here's the rundown. It was: Paul, Meggan, Daniel, April, Ryan, Lizz, Brandon, Clint and Kevin, and Devin showed up for a little while as well. So... it took us two hours to get through nine holes. Yeah. I told you ten people is a lot to go golfing with! And I'm sure it didn't help that some of us were a tad drunk.

Oh, I completely forgot to mention the bunny that ran across the green on Hole #3. Ryan snuck up on it, then chased it away before I could get a decent picture. But I did get a picture... I might as well put that up, too. He sort of blends in with his background. I swear he was there, though.

And so we finished playing, and organized car rides for the drinkers, drunkards, and the under-aged. We sent the youngsters home while I continued on with Brandon, Clint, Ryan and April. As we were leaving, Meggan and Daniel brought out the gift they had gotten for me: Rum, Smoothie mix, and the most awesome cocktail glasses, ever! They have green polka dots all over them (not pictured, sorry). I love them to death!

So anyway, the youngsters went home. And the other five of us went to Cheers! I had two "untrue" Tic-tacs, which consisted of vodka, Red Bull and orange juice (I believe). The reason they weren't "true" Tic-tacs, is because they didn't have a drop-shot in them. Oh well. They were tasty anyway. Oh yeah... hah. When I first got there, I had to go to the bathroom. And as I was washing my hands, this chick came in and asked me "what to do when the world starts spinning around you." I told her I had no idea, as long as both feet were on the ground. Then I suggested cheesy fries, and she made a "yum" sort of noise. She was sort of leaning on the counter, and since I felt bad for her, and slightly akward, I rubbed her back. She kept talking though, and said she didn't think she was gunna make it. I said I didn't know, and made another suggestion. This time, french bread. She said that sounded like a "grande idea," then continued saying many overly Americanized versions of Spanish words. Then she said "Sionara, Callie," and pushed through the bathroom stall door. It was weird. And silly. And I felt bad for her.

So anyway, I went back to my good time with my friends. We decided to play some pool. I think I played against Brandon. I told him I would rack, and he said something about doing a good job, so I did it the anal-retentive way, and put all the colors next to each other. I think he got a kick out of it (yeah, I was pretty drunk). Anyway, the next thing I knew, my balls were the only ones left on the table. I think I did a bad job... whoops! Then the table was given up to some old guys. Clint and Ryan were playing a game, and Clint decided to have a cigarette. So... I started asking permission to have one. Wow, can you say "dependant childhood?" Hahah, jeeze I'm a nerd. I am both proud and displeased to say that I had many more cigarettes that night, without anymore sheepish askings-of-permission.

Anyway, April and Ryan had to go home, since April had to work in the morning. So we all left, and then there were three. Clint, Brandon and I drove back downtown, blasting Queens of the Stoneage and the White Stripes, me singing my lungs out the whole way. Hahahah, I'm laughing at myself out loud right now, remembering what a good time I had. So we parked in the Pearl, and on our way Downtown, I really, really had to go pee. I mean really. I was going to explode. So I went behind a bush. Next to a building. In the Pearl District. C'mon, really. What would you have done? What other choice did I have?!? It was late and no one was around. Don't worry. I don't even remember what building it was (heehee).

So we arrived at another bar, where Clint could finally get his drink on. I had a very, very tall Rockstar and Vodka, which I'm sure had more Vodka than Rockstar. Then the bartender learned it was my birthday, and became upset that he hadn't carded me. So then, after finishing our drinks, we went to Mary's, which was a strip club a few strides down the block. We weren't there for very long, however (I can't remember why though), and we left Mary's to go to The Cabaret.

Now, I hear that this place is pretty dirty, but of course I don't hear this until the days following my birthday. Oh well! I was too drunk to notice/care (but it turns out poor Clint is sick now...). Anyway, we watched some stage dancing for a bit before Brandon bought me a lapdance. We were trying to pick a good-looking girl, but I bet if we had gone back sober that would have been impossible. Anyway, I changed my mind a few times, but once we had decided on a girl, I got the lapdance Brandon had been promising me the entire night. I only remember a few things about it, like her telling me I couldn't touch her boobs or butt or couch, and the fact that she peeked down my shirt so she could see my boobs. Haha, I was like "Okay!" Anyway, she stayed to talk to us afterwards, and when she learned it was my birthday she went to go tell the DJ-guy, who announced it to the rest of the joint. I was getting "Happy Birthday Callie!"'s for the rest of the night from all the girls.

Anyway, we finally left that place. If it seems like we were there for a long time while I was drunk, then we must have been there for way, way longer. We walked the short distance back to The Yards while laughing and yelling and making promises to "do this again sometime" and me getting lifted in the air. Hahaha, good times, good times indeed. When we got back to the apartments, I was informed that Paul was already on his way to come get me. He arrived shortly thereafter, and I bid my goodbyes to my drinkin' buddies, and we went home. I made my way very carefully down the basement stairs (I had been worried about those stairs for days prior to the event, so I took extra care getting down them), and promptly threw up upon entering the bathroom. I went to sleep, woke up parched with a dizzy step, then slept again until two. Happy Birthday to me!! Hahaha...

Oh yeah, ps. I went birthday shopping on Tuesday and got some new clothes. Here's the classic "myspace" pose, modeling my new shirt.

I'M TWENTY-ONE

2006-04-30T00:30:00.000-07:00

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm gunna go drink some beers now.

Don't accept any rides from hitchhikers!

2006-04-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was odd. Odd but great.

I got up early, and took a bunch of pictures of candy bars for my homework for Gary's class (Advanced Art Direction). Then I finished that at about 11:45, took a shower and went to class. When I was parking, I got a call from Ryan asking if Paul and I wanted to go with him, April, and some friends of theirs to the coast, bonfire and all, and Meggan and Daniel could go too.

Half-way through class Ryan called me again, wondering if I had decided if we were going to the coast or not, but I still wasn't sure since I hadn't had a chance to talk to Paul, Meggan or Daniel. So I called Meggan's phone and left a message. We took a midterm, went over our projects, then got out at 4:15. I met Paul in the Commons, mentioned going to the coast with Ryan, and then we went to our internship class.

Class was interesting; we all went over how our internships were going, including the people at the workplace, the projects we were doing, and the environment we were working in. And any other details. Then the very second class was over, Ryan called me again to see if we were going with them. This was at 6:00. I said I didn't know yet, that I was about to talk to Paul about it, and I would call him back.

We hung around class a little bit longer, talking to Devon and Drew, and decided we'd go get some food with them at Rogue's (which was very tasty, by the way, and had wonderful french fries). So as we were walking out the school, Paul wanted to know what time Ryan and the bunch were leaving, and where exactly it was they were going. So I called Ryan back, and found out they were going to Cannon Beach, and they were leaving at, oh, right now. I still hadn't heard back from Meggan and Daniel, so I called Meggan, still getting a mailbox. And I called Daniel, who didn't answer, so I left a message on his phone this time.

Then we went and ate some awesome food and had great conversation with two good people from school.

That took an hour-and-a-half, by the way, during which time Ryan called me one more time. Then we had to go back to Vancouver, since we were in seperate cars, and Paul was wearing shorts. We would have just left from downtown, but he would have frozen at the beach, so we got a blanket and he changed. Before I drove up there though, I called Daniel one more time, and finally got ahold of him. And? They decided to go! Woo.

So I drove to Vancouver, Ryan called me again to see where we were, I picked up Paul, we went back downtown to grab Meggan and Daniel really quick, and we were finally on our way. It's now about 8:20.

Anyway, we got out there, found the bonfire, and had a great time. Marshmallow roastings (and smores... mmmm), pyro-activities, conversation and ghost stories. Well, no actual ghost stories, only talk of ghost story books. Hehe.

Then at about midnight we put out the fire. Ryan and April ended up getting a room out there, so we hung around for about twenty minutes, then drove back home. I slept on the way, and we were back before I knew it.

Today, my plans involve calling a ton of bars and people; bars to see who'll serve someone on the midnight of their 21st b-day, and people to inform them of my b-day plans tomorrow afternoon. We're going drunken golfing. W00t!

**This post's Quote-as-a-Title brought to you by Paul T., of Vancouver, WA

Let's have a Bloc Party!!

2006-04-26T19:26:00.000-07:00

Paul is currently denying me his nachos. I just want a little bit of 'em! But no, I can't have any. I have to go eat a grapefruit. Humph. Nevermind the fact that I've been talking about eating a grapefruit for the past two days. I made Paul buy sugar this morning so I could finally eat the two that have been sitting on our microwave forever.

Paul's nachos are from Muchos Gracias. He made me drive there after we finished measuring the distance to the end of Officer's Row and back. We were measuring the distance, because we had just finished running it. A mile and a half. Exactly. W00t! Go us! Paul ran it by himself yesterday, and was dying. Then I ran it with him today, and he did much better, apparently. I did okay, and I think it's a great little run, and I want to do it more often. Especially since it's been nicer out. We started running before winter happened, and then we were forced to end it when the weather turned on us. But now we can run again! Wheeee!

Currently I'm going through a list of movie recommendations I've gotten from friends, and figuring out which ones might actually be good enough to check out on Netflix. So far, I have Delicatessen. That's it. Anyone have any recommendations? We love movies like Amelie, Me and You and Everyone We Know, Spanglish, Memento, Garden State, etc. Please help us out! We're at the end of our Netflix list!!

::edit 8:42 pm::
Right after I posted this, I was looking at a movie called City of God, which David recommended to me a while back. Anyway, it said that people who enjoyed this movie also enjoyed Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Royal Tenanbaums, Trainspotting, Memento, Me and You and Everyone We Know, Amelie, Sin City, and Rushmore. It sounds like a winner to me!! It's kind of eerie that it's that perfect, though...

Earth Day / Smurf Day

2006-04-23T16:48:00.000-07:00

We ended up going to a new trail in a new location, entirely. It was somewhere east of Salem, but I forget the mountain and trail names. But it was an 8 mile loop trail, and along the way there were 10 waterfalls. It was pretty cool. However, I forgot my camera (grrr...) and no one else had brought one, either. I think it was the first hike where no one had a camera! Very dissapointing. Sorry I didn't get pictures, guys. It was cool, though. A nice way to spend Earth Day, I feel.

Today I've been working on my project for Entercom. My boss gave me a project, and told me nothing about it, so I've been doing research for it all morning. Then I realized I wouldn't have time to do my homework tomorrow, so I went to the school to get it done. I left at 4:00, however, and upon arriving, realized that that's the exact time the library had closed today. So here I am, sitting in a school lab (my favorite, Lab 217), updating my blog. And I'll be back home soon. There were easier ways I could have found out that the library was closed, but honestly, I just wanted to get out of the house. It's a beautiful day, and I hate letting days like this go to waste.

Sitting on the dock of the bay, wasting time

2006-04-20T18:34:00.000-07:00

I'm in Package Design right now. We're on break, but I'm waiting to talk to the teacher about something. So far, the class is going well.

Guess what? I got an internship. Yup! I went in for an interview last Friday, and showed them my Book, and they liked me, and they liked my book, so they hired me as an intern! Where is it, you ask? Well, it's at Entercom, which owns 7 of the local radio stations in Portland, three of which I listen to (94/7, 97.1 Charlie, and 92.3 KGON Classic Rock) on a regular basis! That means, I get to do print work for some of the radio stations, including posters, pamphlets, booklets and cds! My boss seems super nice, and so does his assistant. The job seems like it's going to be a lot of fun, and I'm really looking forward to it! (Wow, I just used way too many exclaimation points).

Hm, what else has been going on? Um, not a whole lot. I've been having really emotional dreams lately, though. Well, just in the past two nights. That I can remember, anyway. Emotionally good, emotionally bad, emotionally rough.... Just emotional, in general.

What else... what else? Umm (bleh, the teacher just spent 15 minutes talking to one person, when she has to talk to like five of us and she only had a half-an-hour). Okay, it looks like I don't have much to talk about anymore. Oh yeah, except for the AIGA. See, Paul and I are the only officers (I didn't volunteer to be an officer again, it just sort of happened when I was doing a bunch of stuff for the club). And there aren't a whole lot of active members (maybe two or three, excluding Paul and myself). So, what happens is, we get stuck doing a lot of the work behind the events we try to put together. We ask other members for help, but we've yet to have a reliable member (besides Ryan, but I suspect he's only helping the club 'cause he's our friend, hahaha). So... bleh. I don't think I was really going anywhere with that, besides ranting. We have a school-wide T-shirt competition that's finally getting off the ground, a supposed trip to Georgia Pacific, the paper company, a guest speaker, and a meeting with PSU's student chapter of the AIGA, as well as regular tours of local studios.

We didn't have to worry about setting up the studio tours or the inter-chapter meeting, because it was someone else's idea. Getting a guest speaker shouldn't be too hard, and our one reliable member is in charge of doing that. The trip to Georgia Pacific, there was a member who was supposed to be orchestrating that for us, but he hasn't even contacted us in the past... oh... two weeks or so. And the last time we spoke to him was because he happened to be in our internship class. So that leaves the T-shirt competetion. Oh my dear goodness. What a nightmare. I'm thinking things may go a bit easier next term, once we've figured things out a bit.

---one night later---

I'm at home now. Last night we ended up going on a feild trip to Whole Foods, to look at packaging. There's one package I'm in love with, for a cacao bean. But sadly, it's not one of the two packages I chose for discussion.

Let's see... I had class today, Advanced Art Direction. Then after class, I called Paul and discovered he was with Meggan and Daniel. So I headed on over there, and we went to get some food at The Laughing Planet. Then I drove home in the rush hour traffic, while listening to good music (there's a new radio station! 60s and 70s hits, on 106.7).

After arriving at home, I played a bit of Guitar Hero, failed miserably (I'm stuck on Hard, on the third tier, and I've been getting only three stars for the songs I do pass). Then I put on Super Mario 64, which I've been playing for about a week now. It's rather fun! See, when I owned a N64, the only game I owned was BanjoKazooie. So I sort of missed out on all the other fun games, like Ledgend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time, and SM64. So I'm playing both of those now. I now have like 34 stars, and I've beaten like three or four levels. Wooo!

So now, I'm just hanging out. Paul fell asleep like an hour or so ago. I didn't realize this until I was trying to talk to him, and he was apparently ignoring me. He got mad at me earlier, but I didn't think he was still grumpy, so I kept talking to him. When I finally got off the couch to see what on earth he was doing, I realized he was dead asleep. Hahaha, oh well. Yeah, that was at like, 8:00 pm. Why on earth is he sleeping so early? He never does that.

Anyway, turns out we're going hiking tomorrow. With Ryan and April. I'm looking forward to it. Paul and I went the weekend before last, to a new trail. Wahclella Falls. It was pretty!

This isn't Wahclella falls, but it was some
of the scenery found along the way.

But I don't really feel like going back to the same trail so soon. So I'm thinking we should go to Eagle Creek. This is the infamous trail of Paul's and my "Seventeen Mile Hike," (which wasn't actually seventeen miles long). It is a very, very long trail, but there are a ton of great places for stopping and turning around. Anyway, it's a beautiful hike and a relatively easy trail, without switchbacks or a very steep incline. Or, we could find a new trail entirely. There's a few I found a couple of weeks ago when I was looking for a trail for us, but these won't be open until late Summer. Bleh. So in the meantime, I need to find an awesome Spring trail. Actually, Spring is when Paul and I traversed Eagle Creek last time, because the high water runoff causes one particular waterfall to have two seperate chutes. It's neat.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Overdue

2006-04-12T10:32:00.000-07:00

So, I've been neglecting a new post due to my lack of wanting to talk about everything that happened on Spring Break. Don't get me wrong, it was a ton of fun, and nothing regrettable about it whatsoever. But seeing as how I'm lazy, and there are a lot of things to talk about, and I want to get back to posting about other things, I'll just put up a link where someone else (Meggan) has already talked about all the details, pictures included.

School's gotten off to a pretty slow start for me. I have three classes and an internship, which I have yet to land. I really should be more agressive about that. Three different opportunities have practically fallen into my lap, and I have yet to pursue them any further. Man I'm lazy.

On a different note, I will be twenty-one years old in 18 days, and I'm pretty excited. I was going to go to the Acropolis with two guy friends on the midnight of my birthday, but one of them can't make it, so that has to wait for a few months. Sunday night, the night of the day of my birthday, I'm going out with a bunch of friends. I don't know where to yet, though. But there will be alchohol involved.

I just lost a lot of steam really quickly. Hm. I have nothing else to say at the moment, really. I'll get back to you. Ta ta.

Breakin' it up, yo!

2006-03-26T22:49:00.000-08:00

Spring Break is well under-way. We're in Idaho now, and on our way to Canada tomorrow afternoon. Then we'll be there for a few days, then back to Washington on Thursday. I'm having an absolute blast, so I'll have to let you know all about it when I get back to Portland. Gotta go now though, we're going to watch a movie. Bleh, I'm exhausted!!

It's a nice day

2006-03-19T16:55:00.000-08:00

I wish I could go enjoy it. Spring officially starts in two days. I'd like to go hiking. Paul and I just made tentative plans to go up to Eagle Creek the first weekend we're back in school. We'll probably try to get Ryan and April to go with us.

My ten page paper is nearly done, go me! Two weeks late. Haha... Oh well. I'll probably buy some more hair dye to reward myself once it's done. Ryan got a cake for finishing his...

We went to lunch this afternoon with Athena and Roy, Paul's sister and her boyfriend. It was a place called Sweet Tomatos, a salad buffet. Pretty good! Not too spendy, nice and light, free ice cream for dessert. And Ryan invited us to go out for dessert. We might go, don't know yet though. It depends on if I finish my paper or not, or at least get much closer to being done.

Paul and I just got back from a nice little walk around the neighborhood. I missed the nice weather, it's good to have it back.

Behind the Wheel

2006-03-19T00:32:00.000-08:00

My little girl
Drive anywhere
Do what you want
I don't care
Tonight
I'm in the hands of fate
I hand myself
Over on a plate
Now

Oh little girl
There are times when I feel
I'd rather not be
The one behind the wheel
Come
Pull my strings
Watch me move
I'd do anything
Please

Sweet little girl
I prefer
You behind the wheel
And me the passenger
Drive
I'm yours to keep
Do what you want
I'm going cheap
Tonight

You're behind the wheel tonight

Fresh Air?

2006-03-17T21:04:00.000-08:00

I've been staring at my computer's desktop for the past, oh, fifteen minutes. With my fingers just sitting on the keys, me waaay slumped in my chair (my butt's on the edge), and with what I'm pretty sure is a very crazed look on my face.

I've been inside all day, home alone, with mostly just the internet to keep me company. I only have a few sites I visit regularly, and after going to each of them so many times I memorize the latest content, I start to get a little bit bored. Paul's been gone since 3 today. He went to the school to turn in our assignments, then went to take Meggan and Daniel to Fry's Electronics, in Wilsonville. I called about twenty minutes ago, and they were just getting back. Which probably means I'll be home alone for about another hour.

I had an open-faced tuna melt sandwich earlier, with pretty much rotten bread, tuna that's been sitting in the fridge for a while, and cheese that's most likely okay. I thought about taking a bath, but the thought of stewing in hot water doesn't seem like a good idea right now.

It's really dark in here.

I wanna watch Arrested Development, or Crybaby, or something, but then it seems like I'll feel even less productive than I already do, if that's possible. I'm listening to Damien Rice at the moment, and, while I think it's good music sometimes, other times it is just NOT what you need. But then I try to put on upbeat music, and I just feel like the music is mocking me. Hmm, I just turned the music off, and I think that may be the worst idea I've had yet. I'll put on The Postal Service. There, we'll see how that goes.

I just spaced all those thoughts into paragraphs... aparently I feel too apathetic right now to space my thoughts as I go. Or perhaps they're all just running together anyway. That's probably it.

I think I'm in a strange mood. Is it obvious? It is to me, but that's just me.

Someone... pleeeease talk to me.

That's something that's been on my mind, lately. I don't think I'm a very good friend. I've been neglecting pretty much everyone, more and more. First it was just the people I've moved away from, but I still had friends up here I hung out with regularly. But recently, as in the past few months, probably since Fall, I haven't even been talking to the friends I have up here very often. Which leads to me not getting invited to things, not getting asked for help in times of need, and pretty much just me feeling crappy about the way I treat people. (The Postal Service is turning out to be a good choice). I blame it on school, and me not having time to hang out with anyone, but that's only half-true. What about days like today? I haven't done any homework, and I probably could have gone into Portland to see someone, or at least I could have called a friend to see how he or she was doing. I barely even leave myspace comments on friends' pages. Am I too lazy to upkeep my relationships? Gee, it would appear that way. Wow am I lame...