I honestly want to know...

if I am I being selfish, rude or demanding in this situation:

Paul was messing around on his computer, trying to install a new Windows appearance. We had just gotten home from school, and I didn't feel like jumping right back into more homework right away. Instead, I got the bright idea that, since neither of us was really doing anything, maybe Paul and I could hang out; we've both just been doing homework lately, and haven't had much of a chance to "chill" together. So I asked Paul if he wanted to hang out with me, and he said "no." So of course, I asked why not, and he said it was because he was in the middle of something. I pointed out that it wasn't anything important, which I had thought because he could come back to it at any time; he wasn't gaming, wasn't doing homework, nothing that was time-sensitive. But he insisted that it was important to him, and he didn't want to stop just so we could spend time together.

Paul tried to explain to me how I was being selfish, rude and demanding, but I still don't understand why that is. I still don't feel like I was in the wrong. Could someone else maybe shed some light on this?

Wheeeeeeeee!

The other day I ended up letting Ryan take pictures of me, after all. We only had an hour, because Paul was due to get off of work at that time. But it was fun, no matter how stiff I look in the pictures. I just have a hard time being a model with certain people, I guess. I'm sure my mood has something to do with it, too. But my favorite photographer is still Tommy (sorry Ryan). :)

FYI: One car between two people is definitely not convenient, especially when you've gotten used to otherwise. I've relied on having a car for years, now... I just hope my poor little sedan isn't as broken as I'm thinking it probably is.

Last night Paul and I went to Jesse's b-day party, which was at a very cool-looking place called Bridgeport Brewpub (which sounds to me like they jumbled a bunch of words together). We had no idea it was there, and apparently it's a pretty hoppin' joint. In addition to Jesse's party, there just so happened to be a going-away party being thrown for another girl from our school at the next table. So there were a ton of people there that we knew, and a few new faces. Oh, I tried a beer I actually enjoyed the taste of (surprise!) called Blue Heron. And it was a darker beer! Surprises all around.

At the moment, I have my bangs pulled into two ponytails coming off the front of each side of my head, with another ponytail in the back. I feel pretty (haha).

You know, I absolutely love reading my friends' blogs. I thoroughly enjoy it. So, to all of you out there who have one and haven't updated in a while, you really shouuuuuuld. And to those of you who have just updated for the first time in a year, don't think you can get away with just that one update for months to come. :P

Oh, I don't know how many of you watch House, but I saw it for the first time over Christmas break (after hearing numerous raves about it from Drew), and that show is amazing. I love Gregory House. His cold, ruthless, assholian attitude is oddly attractive, and I can't get enough of the show. Paul merely loves to hate it. Anyway, we've been watching the episodes one-by-one on alluc.org. We finally made it through Season 1, and just started to sink our teeth into Season 2, but all the episodes have been taken down! I'm so distraught over it I can barely eat (jay-kay guys, jk). But still, it's very upsetting. I need my House fix.

A little over a year ago, I bought the book Survivor, by Chuck Palahnuik, as a book to read in the airports and on the airplanes while on my way to and from Florida. I got nearly half-way through the book, and then never picked it up again. There's nothing wrong with the book. I like it. Just, for some reason or another, I have not touched a book in nearly a year. However, I picked it back up again, and finished reading it a couple of days ago. Now, I have two more books sitting in my "to read" pile. They are Invisible Monsters, by Chuck Palahnuik, and Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, by Christopher Moore. The first one I got just because I'm pretty sure it's the only one of his books I haven't read, yet. The second one I hear is hilarious. One of my former roommates (Riki) read it, and recommended it to me. Besides that, Christopher Moore is the name of my first step-dad, which is kind of weird. The first time I had discovered the writer by this name, was by a poster hanging in a Powell's window, advertising a book called The Stupidest Angel. Sounds like comedy, to me. I'll let you know how these turn out.

Gimme dat ding!

The snow last week was magnificent. Paul started to go into work, but came back when he found out no one would be there. So we had a Fun Day together, instead. It started off with a nice, big, hearty breakfast at McDonald's. Then we went home to play in the snow a bit, before rushing off again to Game Stop. There, we found Lord of the Rings: The Third Age, which had a co-op mode, meant for snuggling up on the couch while we played together.

After our triumph at the video game store, we searched Wal-Mart for any resemblances of a sled (since they didn't carry any actual sleds), but the best we could come up with was a garbage can lid. So we decided to search Fred Meyer's, instead. There were no sleds at Freddy's. We went home empty-handed, yet still determined to make the most of things. There (home), we found a couple of lids to large Rubbermaid containers, so we decided to give them a go. Once out on the powder, standing on the hill, we realized there was no way our sheets of plastic would stay on top of the snow, with our body weights pressing on top of them. They simply dug into the snow deeper, with every inch we tried to move. So, back at the drawing board, Paul decided to make a pair of pants out of a garbage bag. The slick surface would have worked, but it would have made his ass hurt like hell. I told him to scoot around on the ground, to try it out... It was hilarious to watch, take my word for it. Anyway, just as we were about to take off for the hill once more, Debbie (Paul's aunt, and our upstairs-roomie) stepped out of the house, proclaiming her ownership of a sled she'd be willing to let us borrow. We snatched the sled, took off for the hills, and tore down the snow. All was right within the world. After thoroughly wearing ourselves out, Paul and I trekked back home, peeled off our wet clothing, curled up under a blanket, and embarked upon the epic battle that is LOTR!. I can't remember what happened after that. Probably dinner...

This morning I woke up bright and early with Paul, so I could catch a ride with him into town (since my car doesn't work... that's a-whole-'nother story... but it has to do with the freezing temperatures...). The reason I needed to come to town was to go down to PSU to check out a textbook I need for my online Physics class. However, upon arriving at the library, I came to find out that I could not check out the book, because it's been put on reserve by a teacher, and I am not a student. So, I'm stuck doing nothing in Portland until Paul gets off of work, which is at 4.

To top things off, I have an odd amount of energy emanating from me, and no one to share it with, since everyone's either in class or at work. I've been trying to talk to Paul and Meggan, but they're both busy... working. Psh. I randomly ran into Lizz on the streetcar back from PSU, which was very cool. But she had to go to class, so that was short-lived. Oh, I also randomly ran into Tesheeka's (former roommate) mother, whom I had not seen in about a year-and-a-half. That was kind of weird. I did manage to catch Ryan, too, before I headed down to PSU. He was downtown for work, but left fifteen minutes later 'cause he had nothing to do. Or something like that. So we hung out for a little while before he headed back home. He's been practically begging for me to let him take pictures of me, and I've been less than cooperative. So... that might finally happen today, on account of my abundance of energy and lack of other activities.

I've been wanting to say "thank you" to everyone for all the support you've given me. I'm really sorry I haven't replied to any of your emails. Honestly, the only reason is that I don't really know what to say. I greatly appreciate everything each of you has said to me, and it feels really good to know you're there for me (not that I ever had a doubt :) ). But really, I just don't know what to say about this. Now that it's over with, I think I just wanted to let you know that it had happened. I don't feel regret or shame, and I know what I did was the right thing for me. There's nothing for me to really be depressed about, anymore. But all the same, I'm sorry for not replying. It's kind of rude of me.

And with that, I return to my boring, energized day! Hope yours is just as energized, but more eventful.

Breaking News

Paul and I just did a major spring cleaning (either a few months early, or really, really late... take your pick). We re-arranged the basement into a pretty good configuration, then spent the past few days re-hooking electronics, organizing supplies, straightening papers, getting rid of old junk, and finding places to store, not stash, things. We still have a few things left to do... there are a couple of filing cabinets that need to be rid of all the junk they contain. Then, we might actually be able to use them to store important papers and such! Imagine that!

Christmas break went well. The first week was a bit slow; I didn't get some of the things done that I meant to. Well, I guess the only thing I didn't do was move the stuff in my apartment into storage, but I still have three months to do that. But either way, it was a pretty lazy week. Then that Friday night Paul and I went out to a movie, as a sort of last-night-together-for-a-few-days night. We saw the holiday date movie, The Holiday, which was very great and well-written. Then Paul departed for his parents' house Saturday night, and I left for my parents in the morning.

This year marked the first time I've ever slept in the living room on Christmas Eve. I may have been dreaming, but I think I saw Santa break into the slider door around midnight... Either way, Abby was ecstatic that Monday morning. But of course, Christmas is always amazing when you're three years old. The day brought holiday cheer and lots of fine foods. Good times all around!

A few days later I made my way up to the LAN party, already in progress. I pulled into town to find Drew, Tyler, Tyler's GF (sorry, I forgot her name...), Justin, Paul, Jim, and Ryan seated in a booth at the local Sherri's (aka Shelly's). It was quite a greeting. The LAN was tons o' fun, what with drinkin', movie-watchin', dancin' (thanks to me), Guitar Hero 2-in', oh, and of course, lots o' gamin'. Then we all brought the new year in with a countdown, champagne, yelling, cheering, leftover firecrackers, kissing, smoking, more cheering, hugs, and smiles.

Paul and I came back home a few days later, both exhausted and satisfied by our breaks. I must say, I definitely feel much more ready to go back to school this term than I did last term. Which is good, 'cause last term was absolutely awful for me. It wasn't really the classes that kicked my ass, so much as it was everything outside of school, and I mean everything. I couldn't catch a break last term. However, things are definitely looking up, and I'm feeling optimistic and tons more energetic. Woooo!! HAPPY 2007!!!!

HAPPY NEW DAY!

Does anyone believe that the first day/week of classes sets the mode for the rest of your term? I hope that's how it works, 'cause I had a pretty good day. I had Environmental Graphic Design today, which seems like a class that could be a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to it, at this point. It seems like something that I could even be interested in as a career... who knows.

After class I swung by my apartment to grab my mail, and met my new "roommate." She seemed like a sweet girl, and I'm not entirely sure she was happy with the two girls she's now stuck living with. I don't blame her... they're a bit slobbish, from what I've gathered. I shouldn't be "living" there for too much longer; my lease is up in March, and I'll probably just move my junk up to Paul's parents' house for storage until we get our own place.

On the way home from my apartment, while turning onto the freeway on-ramp, I glanced into my rear-view mirror just in time to catch a jeep absolutely TEARING around the corner behind me. It drifted (Tokyo-style) around the corner, nearly toppling as it did so, then violently swerved several times in both the lanes behind me to regain control. It was too dark to see his face, but I wish I could have known if this maneuver ended up manifesting his joy, or his soiled pants...

I'd love to update you on my Winter break at this point, but at the moment I've a three-page paper to write, as well as a month of dinners to finish planning. You see, my New Year's Resolution was to get fit, which essentially means, for me, to gain some muscle mass. But I figured that before I can do anything, I should start eating right so I actually have the health/energy/nutrition to work out. On top of that, Paul decided he'd like to start eating right, so we decided on this decide-our-meals-in-advance system, so we know which foods to keep on hand, and so we can monitor what exactly it is we're eating, and make sure it's mostly things that are good for us. Maybe I'll post the calendar when I'm done with it, so you can use it... It'll be like you're eating dinner with us!

OH! One last thing... also on the way home, I heard a very fun new song, by none other than Modest Mouse! Apparently they have a new album coming out soon(ish) called We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank, and the song I heard was called Dashboard. Just thought I'd share the news.